


Embrace your difference.

by Misha_Gave_Me_Wings



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Anxiety, Chair Sex, Depression, Disabled Character, Doctor Dean Winchester, First Kiss, Fluff, Gentle Dom Castiel, Happy Ending, Hero Dean Winchester, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Terrorism, Learning Disabilities, Light BDSM, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Photography, Protective Parents, Sick Dean Winchester, Sub Dean, Teacher Castiel, Team Dean's Red Ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-06-30 17:13:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 36,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15756189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misha_Gave_Me_Wings/pseuds/Misha_Gave_Me_Wings
Summary: Dean meets Castiel on a blind date the only difference is they both have disabilities. Can they both navigate a relationship, through sickness, mistakes and meddling parents and siblings? Only time will tell.





	1. Blind date...

**Author's Note:**

> Embrace your difference for you are amazing and wonderful just the way you are.
> 
> I don't own Supernatural, thanks for letting me play through. x
> 
> Dean and Castiel do suffer from depression. The Suicide attempt is in Deans past and so is the act of terrorism. The story bushes over this but does not go into detail. The main focus is on Castiel and Deans relationship and how they cope with there disabilities and how the world treats them. xxx

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean waits for his blind date, only to think he had been stood up. Castiel stumbles into the Roadhouse late and looking rumpled.

Dean sat at his regular table at the Roadhouse. His mom, well his adopted mom Ellen saved it for him. Sam his baby brother had set him up with a blind date. Dean was not going to go, but Sam pulled the _'puppy dog eyes'_ and even got Jess, his long-term girlfriend at it. So here he was sat by himself, nursing a cold coke.

 

Dean frowned his date was late. Sam had not told him whom he was meeting. ‘ _That’s the whole idea of a blind date Dean.’_ Sam whined. So, all he knew was the person should be here at the Roadhouse by seven. Checking his watch, playing with the beer mats, getting a text from Charlie, his best friend. They texted for a short while; then he played a game of angry birds.

 

Dean looked at his watch, half an hour later, his shoulders slumped, and he sighed. Well, he'd been stood up, it happened frequently. Now maybe Sam and Jess would get off his back, no one wanted to date a disabled person, end of story.

 

A woman entered the Roadhouse unbeknown to Dean. She strolled up to the bar.

 

"Hi, I'm looking for Dean, Dean Winchester? Sam Winchester said you could take me to him?"

 

"Who are you? Asked Jo who was tending the bar.

 

Unbeknown to the woman she was Dean and Sam’s, adoptive sister and Ellen and Bobby’s biological daughter. Instantly the young blonde woman took a sudden dislike to her.

 

"Lisa Braedon. Sam goes to my yoga class; he set us up on a blind date." She smirked and flung her brown ponytail over her shoulder. The vapid woman placed her well-manicured nails on her narrow hips.

 

‘ _Great Sam._ ’ Thought Jo, ‘ _How could you set up Dean with this woman?_ ' Jo knew the type, liked herself way too much and she would take one look at Dean and run.

 

Jo pointed Dean out, and the look of horror showed on Lisa's face.

 

"I think you better go." Spat Jo in discuss. "You're not hurting, my brother."

 

Lisa turned and as predicted walked out of the bar, not saying another word.

 

"What do I tell him, mom?" Sighed Jo hoping her mom would have the answer. "Deans no different from anyone else, but they take one look at the chair."

 

"Look" Pointed Ellen, "That young man just sat down with Dean, don't say anything let’s see how it pans out."

 

"Who is he?" Wondered Jo confused.

 

"He was looking for his blind date I pointed him towards Dean."

 

Jo and Ellen grinned at each other.

 

"Err, hi. I'm so sorry I'm late, my car had an issue." Stated the blue-eyed stranger who was standing before Dean.

 

Dean looked up and smiled. The man before him had jet black hair and the most piercing blue eyes he had ever seen. The man was about six feet tall and solidly built — his suit rumpled over a tan trench coat that hid most of his body. He looked older than Dean, but that did not bother him.

 

"Oh, that's okay man. I can get my dad to look at it if you want? He owns a garage in town, Singer Auto-repairs."

 

"That would be great. I should learn, but I'm not great with cars, give me books any day." The man chuckled.

 

"I'm Dean by the way." The younger man said holding out his hand.

 

"I'm Castiel; it’s a pleasure to meet you, Dean."

 

"Named after an angel, that's badass." Grinned Dean his mom was into angels, so he knew the name.

 

"Not many people get that, they think my names odd." Castiel smiled shyly back.

 

"I like it, better than plain old Dean."

 

"I can't say I have ever met a Dean before." Castiel's, eyes twinkled with thoughtful contemplation.

 

"So, boys," Ellen said coming up to the two men. "What can I get you?” Pleased with herself at the setup.

 

"The works mom please."

 

Castiel frowned. "Well it's strange to meet the family on the first date, it's nice to meet you. I will have the bacon, cheeseburger if it’s no trouble.”

 

"What did you want to drink?" Ellen asked both men. 

 

"I'll have a coke like Dean please."

 

Poor Castiel was looking a little flustered Dean noted.

 

“Refill, please mom.”

 

Ellen nodded and went off to get their order.

 

"Don't worry Cas; it's all fine."

 

The blue-eyed man smiled back and relaxed, still feeling a little lost.

 

 

 

XXXX

 

 

 

The food was fantastic, and Castiel had never clicked so fast with anyone like he had Dean. Castiel knew this was where all his dates ended, he never saw them after this, and he wanted to see Dean again.

 

"Dean,” Castiel frowned "I have something to say and I-" The older man looked down fiddling nervously with his tie.

 

Dean looked at the man across from him who was having trouble getting his words out. Placing his hand over Castiel's slender, fingers.

 

It grounded Castiel, and he grew in confidence. "Dean, I have had some dates, but not dated anyone in a long time. When I tell people, I have a social learning disability, not many people can cope, and they leave me." 

 

Dean looked at the man who had sat with him most of the night. Not once did he mention the chair. The man looked scared, sad eyes cast downwards. Dean did not like that look on the man's face. Dean would do anything to make that look go away.

 

"Dude you sat here with someone in a wheelchair, and you never brought it up, most people would have seen me and walked away."

 

"Why?" Castiel looked confused. "You may be in a chair but why does that make you any different from anyone else?"

 

"Oh Cas, I like you, never change, man." Laughed Dean, he loved the fact the man was so open and honest, not many people were like that.

 

"One day I want to know your story, but only when you're okay with telling me," Castiel told the younger man.

 

"Thanks, Cas, I-I don't tell many people. I never did ask you what you did for a living we kinda got carried away." Dean played with the drips on his coke glass hoping; Castiel would say nothing of the subject change.

 

Castiel’s right eyebrow rose, but he said nothing. "I’m a professor of humanities at KU. I try and write books in my spare time. What do you do Dean?"

 

Castiel had him stumped twice; no one had asked him what he did, thinking he would not work.

 

"I work with my friend Charlie, we fix computers, and she does her magic, three days a week. Thursday and Friday, I work at the local hospital. I have a doctorate in engineering, and we work on prosthetic limbs. Helping people gain some form of mobility.

 

"That's amazing work; I bet your family's proud of you. Is it okay if I have your mobile number? I would like for us to meet up again."

 

"Yeah, of course, Cas, I would like that." Dean let go of the man's hand realising he had not relinquished it yet and gave Castiel his phone.

 

“Mom will call you a cab; your car will be safe. I’ll get dad to pick it up in the morning and send you the address.”

 

“Thank you, Dean. I hope you don’t mind me departing. I have an early lecture and still have work to mark.”

 

“It’s fine Cas, see you soon.”

 

Castiel did not know what to do, but he smiled and nodded and walked towards the bar. Not long after the older man left Dean rolled himself out to his car. He had not offered the man a lift because he knew his mom would have got irate.

 

On the drive back home, Dean thought back to Castiel. He had a good feeling about him. Dean knew he needed to look up this disability of Castiel's to help understand the man better. It did not faze Dean one bit, after all, he accepted him so far, and that was all that mattered.


	2. The plan...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan is to let Dean and Castiel think there blind date was the real deal. Sam rings his friend Gabriel up to make sure, he's in on the plan.

 After Dean went home, Jo rang Sam and told him what had happened, between the stranger and their brother.

 

"Sam, Lisa came she took one look at Dean and walked out again."

 

"Shit, I thought she'd be a better person than that." Grumbled Sam down the phone.

 

"Yeah, but listen this guy walked in, all dark hair and blue eyes sat with Dean. For some reason, they thought they were each other’s blind date." Jo giggled down the phone.

 

"What!" Exclaimed Sam in shock. "No way. What's the guy's name?"

 

"Castiel, named after some angel, mom told me."

 

Sam snorted. "Well, it's a good job I know who Castiel's brother is, Gabe’s a friend of mine. Don't worry Jo; I'll ring him, we can't let the cat out of the bag, let them both think they were meant to meet tonight.”

 

"Do you know much about this Castiel?" Enquired Jo who wanted to learn more about the man.

 

"Not much only that he as a slight learning disability. Gabriel looked after him while his dad was away on duty with the army, his older brother went overseas, so their close."

 

"Ring your friend then. They got on so well Sam; it would be a shame for this to get messed up. You know how Dean can be."

 

"Yeah, I know don't worry lil sister I have this. We have to help, he can’t manage without us."

 

“That’s the truth.” Jo snorted and said her goodbyes.

 

 

XXXX

 

 

Sam told Jess, and she was not pleased with Lisa, wanting to have words. Sam agreed all loose ends needed tying up.

 

Sam phoned Gabriel and told him the story. Gabriel was mad that Castiel’s date had not turned up. He was happy about Dean and his brother. Gabriel ever-protective was, concerned about how Dean would take Castiel's disability.

 

"Dean would not hurt him Gabe, and anyway my brother has a disability, maybe they will work it out," Sam huffed feeling defensive.

 

"Your right Sam I'm sorry. Dean’s been through hell and back, and I don't want him hurt either." Explained Gabriel.

 

"I know Gabe, all we can do is be there for them."

 

"I just hope they can find comfort in each other, they both deserve happiness."

 

Sam, not use to Gabriel being in a serious mood, wanted to make his friend happy. "So, we need to meet up Gabe; I still need to beat your little ass at games night." _‘That should do it.’_ Thought Sam who was grinning to himself.

 

"Oh, Sami baby the game's on. I'll beat your gigantic ass."

 

Sam was glad he made his friend smile. He only hoped their plan would work, only time would tell. After all, Dean needed his help with his life.


	3. Compters and Pie...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean text each other until Dean tells him he has no lunch. Castiel comes to Deans aid and brings lunch to his work.

Cas and Dean had been texting each other for over a week but not yet set a date to meet again. That Monday Dean managed to get to work, at the computer shop but the nightmares had kept him up, and he was tired and drained.

 

"Hey, Dean you okay?” Charlie asked looking worried.

 

“Yeah, just had a bad night, red don’t worry.” Dean knew if he so much as mentioned nightmares Charlie would be on his case.

 

"We need to set a movie date up, not had one in a while." stated, Dean.

 

Charlie distracted, bounced in her seat, and Dean had to hide his grin. “This Friday, you can make your homemade pizza, we can watch Harry Potter.”

 

Dean looked down at his phone, and he texted Cas hoping he was not in class yet.

 

 **Text to Cas:** _Had a bad morning, and I'm going to be hungry today._

 

 **Text to Dean:** _Why? You okay?_

 

 **Text to Cas:** _Nightmares but my family don't know how bad they are._

 

 **Text to Dean:** _Thank you for trusting me with this Dean, but why are you hungry?_

 

 **Text to Cas:** _I was in a rush to get out and forgot my lunch we’re busy today. Missouri came in but had a doctor’s appointment. Charlie ignores things like food when she’s in computer mode._

 

 **Text to Dean:** _Can you not ask your brother or mom?_

**Text to Cas:** _Mom and Jo have gone out of town; Bobby's at the garage. Jess is a nurse and Sam is training to be a doctor so there both at the hospital._

Dean did not get a text back, and he thought that Cas was now in class.

 

At twelve his stomach was rumbling, and he went to get himself a coke out of the fridge.

 

Charlie popped her head around the door. "Dean someone's here to see you." She frowned wondering back into the office with her headset on talking to someone.

 

Dean thought it might be one of his pickups wanting to ask if their computer had been fixed. So he poked the can by his hip and wheeled himself out. To his pleasant surprise, it was Cas.

 

"Hey what are you doing here?” asked Dean. “Not that I'm not pleased to see you."

 

Castiel smiled, "Well I could not have you going hungry could I. What kind of a boyfriend would I be?"

 

Dean grinned and opened the bag. Freshly cut ham and cheese roll's with chips and, was that pie? "Cas pie, did you make this?"

 

"Yes, I'm trying out a new recipe, so I hope you like it." Declared the older man hoping Dean liked what he had made.

 

Dean munched on his sandwich and his chips. The younger man saved the best for last. Dean bit into the mini pie, it was buttery and flaky, and it was like an orgasm burst on his tongue. He moaned, until the last bite. "Oh my God Cas marry me now."

 

Castiel blushed red; "We may need a few more dates before I can say yes to that." The blue-eyed man coughed. _‘Did Dean need to make those types of noise when he ate?’_ The older man needed to get out of there fast before he embarrassed himself.

 

Charlie snorted behind him, and Dean turned red trying to damp down his embarrassment.

 

"Thanks, Cas I like it."

 

"Good I'm glad. I have to go, Dean, I have a lecture. I would like to see you again, can I cook you dinner Friday night?"

 

"Sure text me your address and the time, and I will be there."

 

"I live on the ground floor so you will be okay, there is room for your chair."

 

"Oh, thanks, Cas that...Yeah well text me and I will see you."

 

Castiel nodded and walked out; Dean admired his ass in his tight jeans.

 

Charlie giggled. "So this is the first time I hear about you dating. Fess up, and I thought we were having a movie night?”

 

“Oh, shit red I’m sorry I can cancel?”

 

“No you won’t Dean Winchester, you will go on your date. I need to know all the details. So come on dish the dirt.”

 

"His names Castiel he’s a doctor of humanities." Mumbled Dean, "He's all bookish and nerdy not sure we fit," Dean sighed.

 

"You’re a doctor so don't sell yourself, short Dean." Charlie dangerously narrowed her eyes.

 

Dean starting some paperwork he had put off forever, ignoring the gaze from his friend.

 

"Now tell me what you’re going to wear, and if you need help?”

 

Dean shook his head and rolled his eyes not sure any more work would get done that day.


	4. Shop until the buzzer goes…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie takes Dean shopping for clothes, they talk about the mundane things in life and Dean can't wait for his date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take my hand and follow me, we can have dreams too...

 

Dean looked up at Charlie and sighed. "I have nothing to wear red. Not for a date with Cas anyway."

 

"Why are you trying so hard to impress him, Dean? I'm sure he likes you for who you are not for your clothes."

 

Dean snorted. "I know I wanted to look nice for once. All I have are jeans and band tees."

 

"Come on let's go to the mall; there is that new comic shop I wanted to show you.”

 

Dean smiled, and they got in his car. It was times like this he missed his baby, but a 67 Chevy Impala was not the best fit for a wheelchair. His new car was a lady though she was sleek black, Scion Chevy.

 

They arrived at the mall and Charlie approached it like a military invasion. Dean just went with it, better that way.

 

They found some nice pants and a button-down and a jacket. Charlie made him get a suit just in case he went anywhere upmarket, and a green tie to match his eyes. Dean even got new shoes and boxer shorts.

 

"Dean you can't go to his house in those things you wear." Sniffed Charlie offended by her friend’s underwear.

 

"I won't be having sex with him, Char." Dean was blushing red at the thought.

 

"Well, you never know your luck." Charlie winked back at him.

 

They grabbed a snack at the food court. They went to the comic book store, and it was just nice to hang out with his friend. 

 

"So, how're things with Dorothy?" Dean asked Charlie.

 

"They're great," Grinned Charlie her whole face lighting up. "We're going away to San Diego; comic con always wanted to go. No idea what to cosplay as."

 

"You, the queen of cosplay, stuck?" Dean looked with puzzlement at his friend.

 

"I have to impress her Dean; I can't just go as Princess Leia, again can I?" Huffed the redhead folding her arms over her chest.

 

"I'll come up with some ideas," Dean promised, trying to calm his frazzled friend down.

 

 

XXXX

 

 

They got back to Dean’s house; he was exhausted. Missouri was there to meet them.

 

"Hey, sugar looks like you had a perfect time." Missouri was smiling at her young friends tired but content face.

 

Charlie bid them goodbye and went on her way. Hugging Dean and telling him they needed to do that movie night soon.

 

"It was nice to get out Missouri you no. I don't do that anymore. I know I work with Char, but we don’t do the best friend get together."

 

"I hear you're going on a date on Friday sugar?" The older woman asked wanting to keep the mood light and happy.

 

"Yes," Dean's face lit up at the mention of the date. "Look what I picked out.” Missouri eyed the new clothes nodded her head.

 

"You'll look, great Dean, your young man, will be impressed. Now get in the shower, and let's get you to bed."

 

Missouri had cared for Dean since he moved out of his parent's house. It was the only compromise Ellen and Sam had given him if he wanted to live on his own. Missouri gave him his meds, and Dean yawned.

 

"I like Cas Missouri but who's going to take me on, with all this?"

 

"Dean someone special will come into your life, I promise you that, just give Castiel a chance."

 

"Yeah, I will." Dean knew the older lady knew things, and he never asked her how and he trusted her judgment.

 

"Press the buzzer if you need me in the night."

 

Dean nodded and said good night. ‘ _No way in hell would he be pressing any buzzer tonight or any other night for that matter.’_

 

Dean was not a religious man, but he prayed that night, hoping that someone up there was listening. ‘ _Mom, you always said angels were watching over me, maybe Cas is my angel?’_ Dean soon fell asleep, but that night no nightmares disturbed his slumber.


	5. Seeing you...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean thinks he needs to cut his office hours down. Missouri makes sure Deans ready for his date. The date goes well and leaves Dean wanting more.

That next day when Dean got home from the office, Missouri helped Dean with his hair; he was exhausted from working all week.

 

"Maybe you should cut your hours down at the office Dean?"  Missouri worried for Deans health.

 

"Yeah I've been thinking about it, it's not as Charlie needs me there, she only gave me the job to give me something to do.”

 

"Think about it honey, talk to Ellen and Sam. Now let's get you ready for your young man."

 

Dean smiled and got ready. Missouri brought out a bunch of sunflowers and some wine.

 

"Now I know it's old-fashioned, but I think it's good to take your date something."

 

"Oh, Missouri what would I do without you?" cried Dean. The older lady beamed at, her friend.

 

 "I'm just waiting for them grandbabies you will give me." She laughed when her young charge blushed red. "Ring me when you get in, and I'll help you to bed if you're not coming home let me know." she winked.

 

Dean blushed again, and she chuckled. "Now go, or you will be late."

 

Dean hugged her goodbye and started up Lady his disability car. Followed the instructions to Castiel's house, he arrived with time to spare. Cas’ house sat out in the suburbs, he drove up the drive, and Dean was pleasantly surprised.

 

The bungalow was large and nestled in woods with flowers around its border. The house was not old, but it was red brick and had green shutters. The door was green; it had a wraparound porch. There was a little swing set on the porch, and it looked sleepy and quaint.

 

Dean got out, and he brought his sticks with him. He was unsure how he was going to get up the steps. Cas came out of the house to greet him.

 

"Hello, Dean, you look lovely this evening,"

 

Dean thrust the flowers and wine into Castiel's hand.

 

"That's so sweet of you Dean thank you, now follow me around the back of the house, in your chair."

 

They went around the back and came to a ramp, Castiel opened the double doors and let Dean come in. The house was all open plan; it was lovely inside. The floors were all wooden. Dean disliked carpet floors they were not easy to push his chair over. The kitchen was massive he loved to cook, and he saw some of the work areas were level with his chair.

 

"Cas do you live with a disabled person?" Enquired Dean confused. ‘This house was made for a person like him.’

 

Castiel smiled sadly; "Our sister was in an accident, she lived with Gabriel and me. She passed away though; I never had the heart to move out."

 

Dean rolled around and looked at the paintings on the wall, "There fantastic Cas," The younger man exclaimed.

 

"Anna loved to paint; she was good at it, people wanted her art. These are worth a small fortune. I could never sell them though."

 

"No of course not." Remarked Dean, "They're fantastic, and I'm not that into art."

 

"Dinners nearly ready, I have nothing with fresh pineapple, so you're safe." he smiled.

 

Cas had asked him if he was allergic to anything, and there was only one thing. Fresh pineapple.

 

"I have a beer here if you would like." Offered Cas.

 

"No, I'm driving so best not," Dean told Castiel. 

 

"Oh," said Castiel. "That's fine. Can you drink alcohol? err…" _‘Great now he had put his foot in it.'_ The older man thought to himself.

 

Dean laughed. "No, Cas I'm not an alcoholic, I can't drink when I'm on my meds. I had some stronger ones tonight and if I had a beer no way would I be allowed on the roads.

 

"Oh well, that's sensible of you. I have soda; I can't drink much on my meds either."

 

"What do you take?" asked Dean worried for his friend.

 

"Anxiety, and depression, mainly." Whispered Cas a little down showing Dean a bit more into his life.

 

Dean saw that but carried on. "Do you see anyone?" The younger man wondered. His family had been trying to get him to see someone for a long time now.

 

"Yes, I find therapy helps a lot, do you?"

 

"No, but I have my reasons." Sighed Dean, looking away.

 

Castiel looked at him strangely. "Okay, then can you set the table for me? I'll put the food in bowls."

 

Dean swept around the kitchen and got the table ready. Castiel was telling him where things were. The older man poured the drinks into glasses not wanting to mess it up with cans. Castiel had baked lasagne with garlic bread; he had made a pie for dessert.

 

"Cas I'm going to marry you one day." Declared Dean after eating everything that Cas had cooked.

 

"I'm nothing special." mumbled Castiel, "Just a man trying to get to grips with the world."

 

"I read up on your disability; I can see how you were worried."

 

"Yes, the thing is not many people like the truth. They get upset, or some days I can't speak. The days I feel like the world's looking at me like I'm some alien. Well, you know the old saying do I look fat in that. I would say yes you do if I thought they did. I can't lie so well." Cas shoulder’s sagged, and he looked sad.

 

Dean placed his hand on Castiel's, "You're okay Cas, just the way you are."

 

"My first and last relationship, Meg, she was my best friend. She was in the army, was one of the unlucky ones, she never came back."

 

"I'm sorry Cas that sucks." Dean murmured sadly.

 

"I tried to date women and men; I like both I guess. I fall for the person, not the face. I dislike people putting labels on me."

 

"I always get asked if I'm bi, but I like both men and women. I don't feel I fit in that box though." Dean had never told anyone this, Cas was just so easy to talk with.

 

"Then don't Dean be who you are, and want to be, don't let them change you." Castiel was looking at him like he could see through to his soul and maybe he could.

 

"I like the way you think Cas; I do, it's good to hear. I feel I can be myself around you. Even my family put restraints on me. I wish I could tell them, but I don't want to hurt their feelings."

 

Castiel frowned, "That must be hard for you Dean. Maybe one day you will get the strength to tell them."

 

"Maybe." Smiled Dean wanting a change of subject. "Now, tell me about the thing you have for bees there everywhere dude."

 

Cas eyes lit up and talked to Dean telling him about his love for the creatures. Dean liked the sound of Castiel's voice, all gruff and low. Dean wondered what it would be like commanding, telling him what to do in the bedroom.

 

"Cas, I need to go Missouri likes to be in bed early, and she helps me to bed. I'm not allowed to take my medication. I best get back."

 

"Why aren't you allowed to take them?" Castiel stopped and looked at the shame in Dean's face.

 

The older man knelt next to Dean. "We all have issues and scars Dean, some not as visual as others. I like you. I hope you know that."

 

"You do?" Whispered Dean. "I thought I would have scared you off by now."

 

"Far from it, I want to kiss you now is that okay with you?"

 

Watery green eyes investigated understanding blue, and the younger man nodded.

 

"I need your words, sweetheart." Ordered Cas, kindly stroking Dean’s face.

 

"Yes, Cas you can kiss me."

 

"Good boy," And that one word sent butterfly tumbling in his stomach.

 

The kiss was sweet and chase, no tongues just lips, but to Dean, it was the best kiss he had ever experienced.

 

"Now you best be getting back, text me when you get home."

 

"Yes sir," said Dean it had slipped out, but he saw Castiel's eyes dilate slightly.

 

Castiel walked Dean out to the car, his arm brushing Dean's.

 

"You never ask if I need any help. Most people do."

 

"If and when you ask for help, I will gladly give it." Castiel smiled. "It was one of Anna’s bugbears."

 

Dean grinned. "Thanks, Cas."

 

"I'll leave it up to you to arrange our next meeting."

 

Dean nodded and waved. Driving back home in silence putting no music on, he had a lot to think about.

 


	6. In sickness...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets sick and Castiel thinks Dean is not interested in him. Until Gabriel calls Sam. Ellen thinks Dean did not tell them he was sick and Cas won put up with that.

Dean woke up, and he felt sick. It was early morning the dawn chorus starting its symphony. His head hurt, and he could hardly breathe. Dean knew he needed help, so he pressed the button by his bed. A couple of minutes later he heard the key in the door.

 

"Sugar you okay?" Missouri looked at Dean and knew he would not press the buzzer unless it were an emergency. "I'm going to get you help, sweetie, hang in there."

 

Dean drifted in and out of consciousness, he heard whispers. Being pulled from the bed. "I need my mom." He croaked out his throat raw.

 

"She's coming baby don't you worry just you keep with me."

 

Dean tried to nod; a mask covered his face; he started to panic.

 

"It's okay sweet boy you just need some air to help you, don't worry." Missouri calmed him by stroking his hair.

 

Dean saw lights and heard a siren. Hands were over him, and he did not like it. All went dark, and he knew no more.

 

 

XXXX

 

 

Sam sat with Jess at the hospital. Dean had fluid in his lungs and pneumonia. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he went outside to ring the person back.

 

"Hey, Gabe sorry had to call you back."

 

"Hey, Sammy, can you ask me why you're brother never called Cassie back? He's down about it. I know that's not like Dean, and I hoped he was okay."

 

"Oh, God, I forgot all about Cas. I'm sorry Gabe, Dean's in the hospital he's got pneumonia."

 

"Oh, shit. I'm sorry dude. I had no clue."

 

"Its okay, tell him Dean's at St Joseph's and ask him to come. Dean would love the company, he's out of it, but I'm sure he would.

 

"I'll call him. How are you, my friend? How are you coping?"

 

"I just started doing ward rounds, so tired, my teacher Victor's been great, trying to give me the time off, but I need to pass the year. Jess has been fantastic sitting with him. Mom, Jo and Bobby have been here, but they have the Roadhouse, and the garage to run and try and get up first thing and the last thing at night."

 

"Don't worry, Sam, I can come, and I'm sure Cassie can."

 

"Thanks, Gabe that would be fantastic."

 

"Look I have to go, but I'll try and get in tomorrow."

 

"Thanks, Gabe talk to you soon."

 

Sam was pleased, he had forgotten about Cas, and he hoped he had not ruined things between him and Dean. Dean would be okay he was strong and would not give up.

 

 

XXXX

 

 

Castiel was sitting in the house, looking at the blank wall. He thought he and Dean had hit it off; they had kissed. Had he come on too strong? No, his Dean was okay with that, he studied body language. The older man had not heard from the green-eyed man since the text that he got home safe. Castiel thought about going to the computer office or the hospital, but that was way too creepy.

 

There was a knock on the door, and he got up to open it.

 

"Cassie let me in.” Shouted Gabe. “I have some news on Dean."

 

Castiel let his brother into his home. "Oh, is he okay?"

 

Gabriel looked worried, not the typical look for his cheeky brother.

 

"No, Cassie he's in the hospital, he's not well at all. Sam asked if we could sit with him in the day."

 

"Of course, I can, I'm on break, so I only have to mark some work, and I can do that at the hospital."

 

"Sam wondered if you could read to him, he said he would like that." Gabriel was searching for snacks in his brother's pantry.

 

"Sure I can. I know what books Dean likes, but maybe I will start him on something different."

 

"I can pick you up if you like, we can go up together."

 

"It's no problem Gabe I can be there on my own." Huffed Castiel he was nearly thirty, not a baby.

 

"I know brother just don't want you to be upset with how Dean is."

 

"I know you're looking out for me Gabe, but I will be okay. I guess this is something I need to get used to, poor Dean getting sick like this."

 

"You like him, Cassie." Stated Gabriel who was wiggling his eyebrows at his brother.

 

"Yes, very much, I thought... never mind, he's not like that, not like the others."

 

Gabe smiled a lopsided grin. "Deans, always been honourable and straightforward. That's why when you told me he had not called-"

 

"You knew something had happened." Finished Castiel

 

"Yeah." Nodded Gabe, "Deans many things Cassie, but he would tell you if he did not want to see you."

 

"I should have realised that. We need to learn more about each other."

 

"Sam said he would be fine he's a fighter, we will help him over this bump."

 

Castiel nodded and went to his bookcase wondering which book to choose for Dean. The older man picked up the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, yes that would do. Castiel smiled and prayed Dean would recover quickly.

 

 

XXXX

 

 

Castiel sat with Dean, only leaving his side when his family came to visit. He read many books to the sleeping man and, played soothing music. Castiel would talk about the dates; they could go on. That he loved picnics and, walks in the park. That he always had wanted to go to the coast and smell the sea air. He hoped he had not scared Dean off that day, but he was dominant in bed, and he needed someone that could be slightly submissive. Castiel told the sleeping man that he liked children, and one day he wanted them.

 

Dean got better; he started to come around and be aware of his surroundings. Would listen to Castiel talk about his desires and his dislikes. Dean never said anything just listened to the man talk. Dean wanted to know about the man he was dating.

 

  
One day Castiel had fallen asleep. Dean stroked his silky black hair, how could he feel so strongly for this man after only two dates. Not many people would have sat, reading to him, not as Cas had done.

 

"Hey, baby," Ellen whispering so not to wake Cas. "Good to see you're awake."

 

"I still feel tired, though. Even after all the sleep I've had."

 

"You scared Missouri baby, well you scared us all. Did you know you were sick?" Asked Ellen with a worried look on her face.

 

"I did not hide it, Mom, if that's what you mean. I had no clue I felt fine." Dean did not like where this was going one bit.

 

"Just that we know how you have been and-" Ellen paused her line of questioning.

 

"Leave it please mom. I've not been in that dark place for a long time."

 

Cas had listened to all this, was that what Dean meant? That they interfered into his life. Castiel was not going to let this conversation go on any longer. So he sat up and rubbed his neck.

 

"Hey, Cas you feeling okay?"

 

"I should be the one asking you that." The older man stood up and kissed Dean on the cheek. Castiel gripped Dean's hand, and Dean held on tight like he was an anchor to ground him.

 

"Cas why don't you go get something to eat. You've been here all day honey." The older man could see Ellen wanted to talk to Dean alone.

 

Dean squeezed hard onto Castiel's hand not wanting him to go. Castiel leant forward and whispered into Deans' ear.

 

"I will get the nurse Dean; you won't listen to anything negative that's an order baby boy."

 

Dean shivered, "Yes sir." The younger man whispered back.

 

"Good boy, you're so good for me Dean," Castiel reassuring his boyfriend.

 

Castiel straightened up and smiled. "Well, I best be going. I will be back tomorrow. Anything you want? Or Need?"

 

"A board game would be great," Dean told Castiel.

 

"I will bring one then." Castiel lent down again and kissed his boyfriend. "See you tomorrow sweetheart rest well."

 

Dean sighed and lay back on his pillows.

 

Castiel knew Dean would be asked questions by Ellen as soon as he was out of the way. The older man was not sure he needed that right now. Castiel asked one of the nurses, Heather, to go into Dean. Telling her the basics, and she agreed it could set Dean back.

 

"Hey, Dean time for your bath. We could unhook you, and then we will change your sheets. I need to set up another drip after that, but moving a little will help. Dean's lips twitched when Heather winked at him. He knew Cas had helped him out.

 

Ellen left soon after that, knowing she could not ask further questions about her son while the nurse was around. She bid him goodbye, told him she would be back the next day.

 

Dean knew his family cared, but they were always on at him. Asking him if every paper cut was self-harm. He was so much stronger, and he did not need their help all the time, but they brought him down. Dean wanted to live, have a family, go to work. God even have a sex life. They would not let him they made his moods worse. Dean was happy how things were going with Cas and God help them if they got in the way of that.


	7. Best friends will talk...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie and Castiel talk about Dean and about movies. Castiel promises Dean he will shadow Missouri, so he can stay over.

The next day Cas brought two new board games for them to play in the hospital. Charlie, come along, and all three of them had a great time. When it was lunch time, Dean ate and after needed sleep still very tired. The two new friends walked the hospital grounds together.

 

"So, Cas what’s up? You can tell me; I won't spill." Asked the chatty redhead concern written on her face.

 

"It's Dean's family." Castiel sighed not sure how to put it. "They think Dean did not tell them he was sick and let it get worse."

 

"What!" Yelled Charlie incredulously. “Dean would not do that. I know after he became sick, the doctors told him more or less he needed a chair for life. He did cut himself; he tried to overdose on his medication. You know I think he's so brave if someone had told me that not sure I would have taken it as well as he did."

 

"I don't get why they keep on at him Charlie. Dean's so happy, now, but if they go on like this, he will get down and then who knows what will happen."

 

"Yeah, I see that Cas, maybe say something?"

 

"I'm too new, I only wish I could, but if we are together longer, and it keeps happening, believe me, I won’t hold my tongue." Castiel kicked a stone on the path and sent it rolling into the dirt.

 

"They do love him Cas, but I think they need a wake-up call. I love Dean like a brother, and I don't like how he gets down about himself, but they do interfere with his life a little too much."

 

"I know they do Charlie, but I have to look out for Dean and what's best for him."

 

"You know he needs extra care, don't you? Can you give him that Cas? If you can't, I'm not sure you will work." The redhead looked at the man beside her and hoped he would be the one to love her best friend, but she had to be honest with the man.

 

"I can Charlie don't worry about it. I will look after Dean. You know about my learning issue, don't you?"

 

"Yes, Dean and I looked it up. I like you Cas just the way you are. If people can't accept you, then they can jump. So, I need to test you if we're going to be friends."

 

"Oh," Castiel smirked, "Go on then test me."

 

"Harry Potter, what house are you on Pottermore?"

 

"Ravenclaw."

 

"Okay, which Doctor?"

 

"Tenth because he's hot." Laughed Cas winking at her.

 

Charlie smiled. “Yeah, he is. Star Wars or Star Trek?

 

Castiel went red. "I have a confession to make, and I hope it does not affect our friendship."

 

"Go on," Charlie said narrowing her spring green eyes.

 

"My father was an army officer, and our nanny did not like us watching T.V. Before my sister Anna passed away, we watched Doctor Who and Sherlock. We never did get around to watch many movies or other T.V. shows."

 

"Oh," Implored Charlie thinking. "It's not a deal breaker, but when Dean finds out, you will so be doing a movie night."

 

"I don't mind; it will be nice, to snuggle up to him and watch a movie."

 

"Thanks' Cas for coming into his life he needed someone like you. Now go on, go back to your man. I have a date with a beautiful lady.” She grinned and winked at him.

 

Castiel smiled he had made a new friend. Something he found hard to do. He thought Charlie was so sweet and easy to talk to. Walking back to Dean with a grin on his face.

 

 

XXXX

 

 

Dean came home two weeks later. The younger man sat in his chair wondering what to do. He and Charlie had talked, they agreed that Dean would do Wednesdays at the office. Castiel had told him about his meeting with Charlie. He was glad they got on, was shocked that Cas had not seen many movies, but like Cas said he would enjoy watching them with Dean.

 

Dean had invited him over that night, to watch Indiana Jones. Charlie wanted to watch Star Wars with them both, so he waited until she got back from the comic con. Dean made chilli under Missouri's watchful eye; she made a cake for dessert. She saw Castiel's car drew up and went to open the door.

 

"Hello, I'm Missouri I help Dean." She smiled at the younger man putting him at ease.

 

"Nice to meet a member of Dean's family." Grinned Castiel, shaking the woman's hand. The older woman beamed, and Castiel knew he had said the right thing.

 

"I'll leave you boys to it then. Dean, I'll come when you phone me, honey."

 

"Sure don't forget your bowl of Chill," Shouted Dean.

 

Missouri thanked Dean kissed him on the head and said goodbye.

 

"She's nice Dean I like her." Remarked Castiel, getting the bowls of chilli.

 

"Yeah, would not be able to live here without her."

 

"Many disabled people live on their own Dean." Pointed out Castiel frowning.

 

"Yeah, well, they don't have a family like mine. Also, some days I can't get out of bed, so it's nice to have someone about."

 

Castiel got it, he did, Gabriel was protective of him, but even he had a life, a home, and a job. Dean’s family were not just smothering him; they were killing him. That worried Castiel.

 

They both sat down and ate Dean's chilli and then Missouri's cake. They talked about this and that and sat down to watch the film.

 

"You would like this, well I hope you will." Grinned Dean. "Harrison Ford is a badass."

 

"I see you have a crush on him then." Teased Castiel.

 

"Yeah, maybe a little one. No need to get jealous Cas, I don't share." Dean giggled at the look at the older man's face.

 

Castiel whispered into Dean's ear, "Good because I was always told I don't share well with others."

 

Dean shivered and looked back to see a smirk on Cas face.

 

"What about flirting?" Asked Dean testing the waters. "I've been told I flirt a lot."

 

Castiel held Dean's chin up with his long fingers. "I don't mind flirting Dean, but you see I get jealous when others touch what's mine, and baby boy your mine," Castiel growled for effect.

 

"Yeah," Dean swallowed hard. "I'm all yours Cas."

 

"Good, now let's watch the movie."

 

Castiel snuggled up next to Dean. Dean had no clue what was going on. He knew the movie by heart, heat was coming off Castiel, and those words had got his head in a spin.

 

"I wish you could stay." Whispered Dean to Castiel.

 

Castiel looked at Dean thoughtfully for some time. "Not tonight baby boy." The older man stroked his long fingers through Dean's fine hair. "I tell you what get Missouri to come over, and I will shadow her. Then if I feel I am ready, I will stay over."

 

"You promise?" Asked Dean his green eyes slightly watery.

 

Castiel picked up Dean's hand and kissed it. "I never break a promise, Dean. Be good for me baby, won't you?"

 

"I like panties." Dean blurted out, and he hid his face in his hands. "Why did I do that?”

 

Castiel chuckled, "Do you now? Well, I best go buy some for you." He winked at Dean. "Don't be embarrassed sweet boy, not around me. Now call Missouri."

 

Dean nodded and picked up the phone and rang his friend.

 

 

XXXX

 

 

Missouri came over and took one look at Dean.

 

"Are you feeling well Dean you, seemed quite flushed."

 

"Don't worry he's okay Missouri." Laughed Castiel, "Dean just got a little embarrassed, but I promise you if I ever feel he's under the weather you will be the first to know."

 

Missouri and Castiel talked about him coming around to shadow her.

 

"I can come tomorrow night after work. Then Saturday I can do the full day and Sunday if I need to."

 

"I'm glad he met you Castiel no one's ever looked after my boy like this. It's easy, not difficult, Dean as his good and bad days. You will learn the signs. Can be stubborn; he needs a firm hand now and then. I think you can give him that.”

 

Castiel turned to Dean and winked. "Sure, I can."

 

Dean groaned in embarrassment. Missouri laughed, and Castiel kissed Dean on his heated cheek.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life has been chaotic. I hope it calms down so I get sit and write lol


	8. To help see you...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel shadows Missouri and the boys work things out. They go on a date to the park but it does not go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notice: Tiny warning Castiel gets a little carried away and touches Dean when he says no...Nothing major happens.

 

The next day, Castiel came to Deans after work. Missouri had cooked for them, but she told Cas that if Dean had an off day, she would do that, but usually, Dean would cook.

 

"Well, I can cook as well so we can both share that job, Dean.” Castiel smiled at his boyfriend.

 

"You can just make them amazing pies," Dean stated grinning.

 

Castiel laughed and shook his head. "I will think that's all you want me for Dean." Castiel teased the younger man.

 

Missouri showed Castiel Dean's medication, but this was where he came to another of his issues.

 

"I can't do basic math Missouri; I can't tell the time, deal with money. Gabriel does all my accounts."

 

Dean looked over at Cas who had gone quiet. "I'm okay with that," Dean told his boyfriend. "That can be my job."

 

Castiel smile lit up his face, and it was breathtakingly, beautiful. God that man would kill him one day.

 

Missouri went through Dean's work table and brought some stickers out in all self-catheterizes. "Here," she showed them. "Dean needs the yellow ones in the morning. The pink ones only if the pain is severe. The blue ones are for the night time. They're all in this pill box. You need to measure out this liquid. She pointed to a large brown bottle. "One spoon full."

 

Castiel as instructed and helped Dean with his medications.

 

"When can Dean do this himself?" Asked Castiel thinking that Dean should do this by himself unless he was too ill of course.

 

"When he goes and gets help for his issues," She stated. "It's not up to me so don't shoot the messenger."

 

When Castiel looked like he was going to shout at her, he said nothing hoping Dean would see someone soon.

 

Castiel got shown how Dean's bed worked, how he self-catheterises himself. How the shower worked and what he would need to do for Dean. Like washing his hair, changing his bed, and accidents. Missouri told him of a thinning blood medication that Dean may require if he had a bad week or two in bed; he would also need stockings to help prevent DVTs.

 

"It's all in this folder," Voiced Missouri handing Castiel a large blue folder. "Dean will always need help Castiel, he can't live on his own, he may work, and go out on dates, but he will always need help."

 

"That's fine I can do this. I have no idea where we are heading, but I want to be with Dean for as long as I can."

 

"Your both unique and I think you will be good for each other. I hope you both find happiness and love." Missouri told Castiel.

 

Castiel nodded and thanked the older woman, and he hoped he would find it too.

 

 

 

XXXX

 

 

 

Dean told Castiel to meet him at Maison Park, West entrance. The Next day which was a Sunday. Missouri helped with the picnic. She brought over a rug for them to sit on. Dean put his sticks in the car as well. He put everything in a large backpack and placed it in the trunk.

 

Castiel met Dean, and he hugged the man. "I missed you." He whispered.

 

"We only saw each other yesterday Cas," Dean chuckled grinning at his boyfriend.

 

"Well, I still missed you." Pouted Castiel.

 

"Come on. Let's go for a walk." Dean was laughing at Cas face. They held hands as Dean pushed himself. The park was wheelchair friendly, so it was flat with no stones. They came to a tree near the lake and decided to settle there. Dean put on his brakes and flipped the footrest back and stood up. The younger man got his sticks and strolled to the tree. "Cas can you put the blanket down, please."

 

"I can Dean."

 

"Can you lend a hand, please?" Dean was struggling to get on the floor.

 

Castiel helped him on the blanket and got the pack from the back of Dean's chair.

 

"Thanks." Dean started setting the plates and cups out. It was an excellent spread, of sandwiches, homemade sausage rolls, olives, and fruit. Dean poured out the fresh apple juice and ate his food.

 

"This is fantastic thank you." Sighed Castiel content and enjoying his food.

 

"I have a confession," Dean told his boyfriend. "I heard a lot of what you were saying when you were in the hospital."

 

"Oh, what parts?" Castiel wanted to know he looked away from his boyfriend shyly.

 

Dean looked at him, reaching out and stroking his face. “The best parts Cas.” Dean cleared up their food after they had finished and laid back. Castiel moved over him drawing patterns on his arm.

 

"Dean, I need to know if I have your permission to touch you." The older man asked hoping it was a yes.

 

Dean looked back at the man and smiled. The younger man was lost for words and nodded.

 

"Baby boy what have I told you, I need your words." Scolded Castiel.

 

"I, yes Cas you can just the top half if that's okay?" Dean voiced looking into soft blue eyes.

 

"Perfectly, sweet boy." Castiel put his hand up Dean's shirt and felt his nipple he pinched them hard.

 

"S-shit Cas what are you doing, not here." Dean blurted out, looking around him.

 

"No one’s around sweetheart." Castiel then kissed, behind Dean's ear and down his jaw to his exposed throat. "I can't wait to make you mine Dean, mark you up, show the world who you belong to."

 

"My nerdy little English teacher they always say it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for." Dean giggled at the thought.

 

"Mmm, so they say." Moaned Castiel, tweaking Dean's right nipple.

 

"Oh, God." Groaned Dean. Castiel was playing his body like a fine-tuned instrument. Their lips met, and Castiel licked at the seams of Dean's lips wanting entrance. Dean let the man in and Castiel mapped out his mouth and sucked on his tongue.

 

"You taste perfect baby boy; I can't wait to taste you." Castiel's fingers went lower and touched Dean's package.

 

"I said no Cas." Shouted Dean sitting up, shocked.

 

"Dean, I'm sorry I-" Trailed off Castiel realising his major mistake.

 

Dean shook his head. "I want to go now if that's okay?"

 

Castiel nodded and helped Dean up. The older man placed their things in the bag on the chair, and he helped Dean back up the trail. Dean managed a goodbye and drove out of the park.

 

Dean was so cross at himself, for how he had reacted. Yes, he had told Castiel not to go there, but it was a light touch, teasing. They had got carried away, and Dean did not blame Cas one bit. Cas now knew he was broken and would no longer want him. Dean stopped the car and tears fell _. ‘I'm so stupid. I've lost him for good.'_ Dean cried out loud.

 

Castiel felt ill; he had done something so wrong, not stopped when Dean had said too. To be truthful he had been lost in passion, but that was no excuse. Dean would not want him he was an idiot. No one wanted him he was just too much hassle to get to know.

 

Dean mad at himself tried to find Castiel's place, he must have taken the wrong turn because he had gotten lost. ‘ _Damn it you're so stupid, Dean.'_  Dean rang the one person he knew he could trust and would help him and not shout at his accidental blunder, his Cas.

 

Castiel had got home and taken a bottle of wine out of its hiding place; he wanted to get drunk he did not care about his medication. His phone rang he was going to switch the stupid thing off, but he noticed it was Dean.

 

"Dean are you okay?" Castiel asked shakily needing to know.

 

"Cas I'm lost I tried to find you, but- I'm sorry Cas please forgive me." Dean sobbed down the phone.

 

"Baby, you have nothing to apologise for it's my fault. Can you see anything that will let me know where you are?" Castiel needed to get to Dean to make sure he was okay.

 

"There are three horses in a field that's it." Sniffed Dean still trying to hold back the sobs.

 

"I know where you are, stay they're okay." Castiel drove as fast as he could, he needed to get to Dean he sounded so upset. The younger man was not far from his house. He had just taken the wrong road, seeing Dean's car and sighing in relief. Castiel ran to Dean who was sitting there crying his heart out.

 

"Cas." Dean sobbed reaching out for his boyfriend.

 

"Shh, baby boy it's fine. I have you now. I have you and won't let you go I promise.” Dean cried into Castiel's arms, and he felt at home. So safe and knew he never wanted to be anywhere else.

 


	9. Listen to me...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The air between Castiel and Dean does not settle when they get to the older man's house. Can things between the lovers ever get better after what happened in the park?

Castiel let Dean drive to his house. The older man did not want him to, but his home was a short journey, so he was not too worried. He followed sadly behind Dean's car. Castiel had hated to see him so upset and wondered why Dean had called him and not anyone else in the family.

 

Castiel helped Dean out of the car this time without being asked. Gave Dean, the directions and instructions, he, apparently needed. It seemed to calm his lover. Dean sat in his chair by the large double doors that looked out to the woods at the back of the bungalow.

 

Castiel cooked them a quick meal. He called Missouri to tell her Dean was well and at his house for supper. That Dean would be back, later, that night. Dean and Castiel ate the meal in silence, the kind that was stilted and on edge. Castiel did not know what to do about and it, how to make it better.

 

"Do you want to watch a DVD?" asked Castiel. "I bought a T.V. with a blue ray player. Its top of the range and up to date."

 

"That's amazing Cas, yes I'd love to watch a movie. What have you got?" Dean asked cheering up slightly.

 

"I brought the Indiana Jones trilogy and back to the future," Castiel told Dean hoping it would make his boyfriend happy.

 

"Oh, great let's watch the second Indiana Jones then. The Crystal Skull never happen Cas we don't talk about that okay?"

 

Castiel tilted his head to one side and looked confused. “Anything you say, Dean." The older man smiled his blue eyes fixed on his lover.

 

Dean thought he looked adorable. "I'm sorry about today Cas; I can't do anything right," Sniffed Dean hating himself.

 

Castiel narrowed his eyes, and Dean continued making disparaging remarks about himself.

 

Cas knew he had to put a stop to it. How could he deal with it though?”

 

"Sammy's the one with the brains in the family being a doctor. I just got the good looks."

 

Castiel acted so fast Dean did not know what hit him. From where Dean was sitting, he pulled his lover over to his knee mindful of his back and legs. "You listen, to me good, if you ever, and I mean ever say anything like that again about yourself Dean Winchester so help me God. I will have you on your backside before you know it and tan your hide.” Castiel's eyes flashed with anger, and Dean whimpered.

 

"Yes, sir. I won't do it again." Stuttered Dean, who was going red.

 

"It's five smacks for every time Dean remember that." Growled Castiel, running his fingers up Deans spine.

 

Dean nodded. "I will Cas. I promise."

 

"Now are you going to be a good boy for me and watch the rest of the film?” Castiel asked narrowing his eyes.

 

"Yes, sir, I can be good for you,” Dean told his boyfriend in a hushed tone.

 

"You see Dean I know you can be good." Castiel kissed Dean, and Dean kissed him back.

 

"Don't leave me, Cas promise you won't," Dean whispered, a shiver going down his spine.

 

"Shh, I won't leave you." Castiel rocked the younger man and held him, knowing comfort was what he needed at that moment.


	10. Photos of the past...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel takes Dean to a gallery showing Anners work but a blast from the past startles him.

Castiel still worried about the incident at the park. So, he asked Dean out the next weekend to an exhibition that had some of Anna's pictures on show. Dean knew this was important to his boyfriend, so he agreed.

 

Over the week, they texted more than talk. Castiel still not back at work, Dean was trying to help with interviews. Castiel was concerned about his boyfriend's financial situation now he was cutting his working days down, but Dean reassured him he was going to be okay.

 

Castiel picked Dean up, and he seemed in better spirits, singing along to the radio. Castiel parked in a disabled bay displaying Dean's badge and got the chair out for his lover. The older man helped his boyfriend to his chair, and Dean happily wheeled himself along, towards the gallery.

 

Castiel was a little nervous, and he knew some of Anna's friends were there and Gabriel, of course. Anna was a fantastic artist, and he was glad her pictures were available for people to view.

 

“Hey, Cas.” Dean grasped his boyfriend's hand. “I'm here if you need to talk.”

 

Castiel looked down and kissed the man sweetly. “Thank you, Dean. I do appreciate that.”

 

Dean still holding Castiel's hand and wheeling with the other went into the building. The gallery had light wooden floors; Dean could see it was a large exhibition, and it was all held on the lower ground floor. The couple looked around at Anna's paintings, and the younger man could not believe his eyes when he saw the five zeros in front of the price tags.

 

Castiel introduced Dean to friends and Gabriel came to say hello. They had a great time though. Castiel wandered off at one point, and Dean went to the bathroom.

 

There was a photo exhibition that he had not seen, maybe he should have stayed away. Dean had never thought for one moment he would see his work there. Dean heard Castiel talking to a couple of people who had an interest in the pictures.

 

“So, do you know more about the artist?” Castiel asked intrigued in the person's works.

 

“He lives here in Texas, that's all we know."

 

“There amazing pictures,” Castiel told the people around him.

 

“Yes, the person travelled a lot, took pictures but went by an alias. Never took a selfie. This last picture got took before the terrorist attack.”

 

“This person was brave.” Came another voice. “Gave us news and pictures of what was going on behind closed doors. The news that some people did not want us to see.”

 

“Did they make it out?” Asked Castiel awe in his voice.

 

“They sent their last picture's.”

 

Castiel looked at it, and it reminded him of something, but the older man could not put his finger on it. There was a tree, in the winter yes, near a lake. It was twilight, and the pictures were drained of life like the person had given up. It was hauntingly beautiful, and sadly tragic. Castiel turned and saw Dean staring at the photos in a trance.

 

“Dean are you okay?” For a moment, he got no response, but his lover's eyes flickered up.

 

“Yeah, fine, just wondered where you had got too.”

 

“Did you want to go home love? You look tired.” Castiel asked, worried about Deans downward mood swing.

 

“Not if you have more to see."

 

“I was coming to find you. Do you want me to push you out to the car?”

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

And now Castiel knew there was something wrong; Dean only gave control up when he needed him. Something in here had upset him but what could it possibly be.

 

 

 

XXXX

 

 

 

“Dean, honey, Castiel was worried he sent me to check up on you. What's going on.” Missouri asked puzzlement in her voice.

 

“We went to a gallery opening; they had Anna's pictures. They had the last of my photos on display. It was just a long time since I faced them.”

 

“Oh, I see. You will have to tell that young man.”

 

“I will, I promise. It's just hard.”

 

“I know sugar, but you're nothing, but the bravest man I have met."

 

“Night Missouri”

 

“Night Dean.”

 

Missouri bent down and kissed his forehead and fussed with his blankets, and he drifted off into a troubled sleep.


	11. A hero was made…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tells Castiel his secret about how he became disabled. Castiel tells Dean he loves him for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mention of a suicide attempt. Mention of terrorism and how it affected Dean.

**Text to Cas:** Hi, can you come around tonight?

**Text to Dean:** I can come after I finish at the shelter. We can grab take-out.

 

 **Text to Cas:** Okay, that's great. See you then.

 

Dean worried about it most of the day. He did not know what to do with himself. Only going to work three days a week was less tiring, but it gave him more time to think. So, by the time Castiel got there he was in somewhat of a state.

 

“Dean, you look like you're about to have a panic attack whatever is the matter?”

 

His Cas was getting straight to the issues. “I need to talk to you about something, and I've been waiting all day. My mind has been going around and-”

 

“Dean, breathe love,” Castiel instructs looking on with distress.

 

Dean takes a deep breath and looks into the blue eyes of his boyfriend, and it seems to calm him.

 

“That's it count one, two, breathe in, that's it. Now, you should have told me I could have left the shelter early. The shelter would not mind.”

 

“I did not want to bother you.” Dean felt close to crying.

 

Castiel crouched down next to Dean's chair. “I rather you bother me then get in this state. Look at you sweetheart. I hate to see you like this. Now, what do you need to talk to me? It's something that's been bothering you since the gallery is my bets.”

 

“For someone with poor social skills, you always seem to get me okay.” Dean sniffed, wiping at his eyes.

 

Castiel grinned. “Your different love, I see you, I get you.”

 

“God, Cas what I'm about to tell you could change everything.” Dean sniffed again, tears spilling down his face. “You will hate me. I don't want to lose you.”

 

“Talk to me Dean, please.” Castiel sighed trying to keep Dean calm.

 

Dean nods, Castiel gets up from the floor and sits on the couch. Dean remained in his wheelchair.

 

“The pictures, they triggered me, it's been a long time since I faced them."

 

“Damn,” Castiel closed his eyes and lent back on the couch. “That's where I recognised. Your tree? The park that day.”

 

“Yes, I loved to go there. I died there that day. It was the last picture I took. Let me start from the beginning. I always had loved taking pictures, did my minor in photography in college. I went on to do my doctorate in engineering and got a job with a company that did medical research. I could change people's lives. So, I travelled, to some of the richest and poorest countries on the planet. We had a charity, and I helped people who could not afford limbs, wheelchairs that kind of thing. I designed three different prosthetic legs and a wheelchair that was dirt cheap to build and there now used all over the world.

 

I used to work with doctors with borders and charities like that. I trekked to leper colonies in Nepal. I took my camera with me and started taking pictures. I was allowed into hospitals and places most news people weren't, and I got the story out. I told the real stories, the real heartache. I had an alias, and only my close family knew who I was.

 

Then I got sent to the Middle East, and I realised this time my luck was running out. People, murdered and it was getting covered up in red tape. As an American, I was a significant target for reprisals. I had friends out there; they made me stick to the Red Crescent to keep me safe. I was trying to change people's lives; help them.

 

Then I met this news team who wanted this story, wanted the world to see. They could not get past the bastards; they had killed two of their friends. So, I went in, and took pictures and sent them out. I was sitting in a square, and I saw people running screaming and this loud noise I started taking pictures. Not many people survived, my camera stayed with me. It stayed on my body, and the news crew got me back to the American airbase. I was flown back to the US, hailed a hero. How can I be when I got people killed? Over two hundred men, women and children died that day because of me.

 

They told me I would be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. Nerve damage, bladder issues. Pain in my hip and knees that dislocate when they feel like it. M.E, Fibromyalgia, Asthma because of the dust. I can't get cold. I have hearing loss, and my heart beats to fast. I get a new medical issue every year it seems.

 

I went to the park when I got out of the hospital and took that picture and the next day; I tried to kill myself. I ended up in a psychiatric ward, and I went to therapy. I did not get on with the therapist, was not allowed to feel down. I guess that's why I've not been back to see one — the reason I'm not allowed to take my medication. I am not in that place now. They think one slip, and I will fall. I understand if you want to leave; its okay.” Dean looked up, and he saw Castiel was crying his blue eyes watery.

 

Castiel opened his eyes and looked at his lover. “Listen to me Dean, your one of the bravest people I know. All you have done, all the people you have saved. Do you know, how many people were saved, and helped after that bomb went off? After the picture, you took got out? They have been calling for you to come forward for years now. I can't believe your family have not encouraged this. I gather Charlie does not know?”

 

“Charlie has no clue. Only family Mom, Bobby, Jo and Sammy. Oh, and Missouri I kinda had a slip up one day, but that's it.”

 

“You can live an independent life, you're an adult, and if you slip, we will catch you that's what family's do. Dean, you're a true inspiration. God, I love you.”

 

Castiel went red and stumbled, “Maybe I-I better go.”

 

“Castiel Collins you will stay put, you don't get to say stuff like that and run off,” Dean stated indignantly.

 

“But Dean it’s too early, and you will get scared. People do, and they leave...”

 

Dean manoeuvred himself onto the couch. “Baby, look at me, please.”

 

Blue eyes looked so sad and discouraged, and Castiel looked ready to cry again.

 

“I love you too, Cas. If you can't hate me for what happened to me, why would I hate you for telling me the one thing I wanted to hear from you.”

 

“Y-you wanted me to s-say I love you?” Whispered Castiel in disbelief.

 

Dean smiled and nodded like he had won the lotto. “Kiss me please.”

 

Castiel nodded and took Dean's face into his hands. Pressing his lips to his lovers, softly caressing them. Gently teasing them open. Dean moaned trying to keep up but Castiel dominated the kiss, and Dean let him. Slowly and not rushed. Castiel nudges Dean's nose, and smiles, kissing the man's upper lip, stroking tenderly down his boy's arm. They both gasp for breath, and Castiel rest's his forehead against Deans.

 

“That was...Cas, you're an amazing kisser." Pants Dean.

 

Castiel brings his thumb up and runs it over Deans pink lips that are moist from kissing.

 

“Tomorrow if anything happens you will let me lead, sweet boy. I won't have you getting hurt.”

 

“Cas,” Dean says in panic as he remembers the dinner with his family.

 

“Shush now baby. I'm here, always.”

 

Castiel kisses Deans cheek and wraps his arms around his boyfriend mindful of his back and legs. Gently rocking him stroking his hair and calming him down.

 

“Cas, I love you.”

 

“And I love you, now let's get you ready for bed?”

 

Castiel helps, Dean, get ready for bed. Medication and a shower. Then dressed and bed. Castiel sits and reads to him for a while until he's fallen asleep. Missouri pops her head around the door and seems surprised to find him there.

 

“I'm sorry Cas did not realise you would be here so late.”

 

Closing the bedroom door, Castiel turns to the older woman. “Dean needed to see me he was upset, told me how he became disabled.”

 

“Oh, I see, glad it worked out okay. That boys a damn hero.”

 

“Tell me about it. We go for dinner at Ellen's tomorrow so that should be fun.”

 

“Don't let them bully you sugar.”

 

“Oh, I won't, nor will they do the same to Dean. I best go if I had known I was staying late I would have grabbed some overnight things.”

 

“I will see you out.”

 

Castiel nods, “I will be back before breakfast.”

 

“Okay sugar take care.”

 

Castiel waves, it's not that late only half past nine, but like Dean, he's emotionally tired. When he gets back into his house, he gets ready for bed, sets his alarm and falls straight to sleep.

 


	12. You're my downfall…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel wakes Dean up. They go to Deans family and they don't treat Castiel and Dean great. Dean asks Castiel for help and the older man takes over.

 

Castiel pulls into Dean’s driveway at seven. The suns already awake, and the sky is a cornflower blue. There's a gentle breeze that blows on his face, and the birds sing their merry tunes.

 

Castiel opens the house with his keys and goes over to put the coffee machines on. It's already filled, and a yellow sticky note stuck to it.

 

 

**Castiel- I'm sure you're more than capable of getting Dean up. Have a beautiful day- Missouri**

 

 

Castiel grins being trusted with the care of his boyfriend by this woman. Knowing she would not leave Dean with a stranger. Castiel walks into his lover's room and pulls back the curtains letting in beams of sunlight. Opening the window, to allow the fresh, morning air inside. Deans sprawled across the bed, covers are in a heap at the bottom of the bed.

 

Castiel goes and kisses his lovers’ nose, brushing his cheek tenderly with long slender fingers. Dean’s thick eyelashes flicker, and he groans.

 

“Sweetheart time to wake up.” Castiel sings with joy.

 

“Never had a wakeup call like this before.” Grumbles Dean.

 

“Well, if Missouri did this for you, I will put in a firm complaint.” Chuckles Castiel.

 

Dean covers his eyes with his arm and tries to avoid the waking up process.

 

“Come on love; you need to get up.” Castiel encourages him.

 

“No, don't wanna,” Dean grumbles again in protest.

 

“I never knew you were an adorable grumpy cat in the morning.” Snickers Castiel. Stroking Dean’s arm, tenderly. Castiel pulls off Dean's catheter. It's like a condom placed over the penis with a tube and a bag that fills with urine. It's non-invasive and easy to dispose of.

 

“Ugh, gross,” Dean says trying to turn over.

 

“Dean Winchester, up now,” Castiel says in a firm tone, snapping his gloves off.

 

“No fair, you're using your bossy tone at this early hour.” Dean pouts, looking at his boyfriend.

 

Castiel laughs and kisses the pout off Dean's face. “Come on love. Let's get you up, showered and dressed than breakfast.”

 

“Is that coffee I can smell?” Dean enquires.

 

“Yes.”

 

Dean raises himself, his hair messed up from sleep.

 

“First thing in the morning, your so adorable,” Castiel tells Dean, fondness in his tone.

 

“I'm not adorable; I'm a superhero like Batman,” Dean says proudly.

 

Castiel's eyes go soft, and he nods in agreement. “That you are my love.”

 

Dean presses the button to pull himself up and takes the bedsides down. Manoeuvring his legs over the side of the bed. He reaches for his tee shirt, and something in Castiel's eyes stop him.

 

Castiel's stood still, his arms folded, and he has his eyebrow raised.

 

“You do have your bossy head on today.” Dean rolls his eyes again and lifts his arms.

 

“So much easier if you let me help, don't you think sweetheart?”

 

Dean stays quiet knowing he's beat this morning. Castiel helps him off with his pants and on to his bath chair. After a shave, a brush of teeth and a shower. Castiel helps Dean into his clothes ready for the day.

 

“Now you can help me get breakfast,” Castiel tells Dean. Both men were working fast together producing pancakes, bacon and eggs. Dean does the clean-up of the kitchen while Castiel tidies up the bedroom and bathroom. Then Castiel brings Dean his medications.

 

“Why can't I do this myself?” Dean asks his lover.

 

“I can't see why you, can't. I trust you to tell me if you're having a down day.” So Castiel leaves Dean to get his medication, for the first time Deans left alone to do it himself. He feels loved, trusted, and like he has his old life back.”

 

Dean bakes a pie to take to his mom’s house. He packs the pie in a bag to keep it warm. Putting his medication, and everything he needs into his backpack he's ready for the trip.

 

“Now remember Dean if it gets too much for you, I can take over. Don't, however, let them bully you. You have this baby boy; this is your life. Regardless of your family and me.”

 

Dean swallows hard. “You make it easy for me to want to be more independent. I never knew until I met you how much they had taken away from me. That they controlled almost every aspect of my life, I have a brain, and I can scream for help when needed. The fact I can't even go to them for the smallest thing, concerns me the most, what if I ever hit crisis point Cas? When I need them, I can't trust them to catch me.”

 

Castiel kneels next to Dean. “Thank you for telling me all this sweetheart. I only hope you will come to me if you ever reach that stage that you can trust me, with every aspect of your life. I know I let you down somewhat.” Castiel sighs and looks down ashamed of his behaviour at the park.

 

“Cas look at me please,” Dean whispers stroking his boyfriend's arm. “We got carried away. It's partly my fault for not telling you why, and I've not worked up the courage to do so. I have faith in you and trust that you would never hurt me. Tell me baby, who was the first person I called?”

 

“It was me; you called me Dean.” Castiel sniffed and rubbed his head on Dean's cheek.

 

“I knew you were the one person who could help me. The one person I could trust that would get me out of danger, and not take a mishap as a failure.”

 

“Oh, Dean what have they done to you?” Castiel snaked his arm around his boyfriend's neck and kissed him tenderly on the lips.

 

“I love you so much Cas.” Whispered Dean like it was a secret for only them to share.

 

“I love you so much, my darling boy.”

 

 

XxXxXxX

 

 

Dean drove into his mom and dad's driveway. “I will get out by myself Cas. I would think its best if I did everything by myself today.”

 

“I agree, but don't forget there is no shame in asking for help. I don't think any less of you for it.”

 

“I know.” Dean smiled sadly.

 

Dean manoeuvred himself out of his car. His mom Ellen waiting on the stoop of the house.

 

“Dean so good to see you, and you also Castiel.”

 

“Hey, mom I baked a pie.” Dean beamed.

 

“I hoped you didn't overexert yourself, honey,” Ellen asked in concern.

 

Dean's face dropped, and Castiel noticed. He had worked so hard on that damn pie. “No mom, I'm okay.”

 

Dean grasped Castiel's hand, and he wheeled himself into the house.

 

“Hello boy, good to see ya.” Bobby came to greet his son.

 

“Hey, dad, remember Cas, my boyfriend?”

 

“Hello son, glad you could come.” Bobby shock Castiel's hand.

 

“Dean, you're here.” Sam came bounding over to his brother.

 

“Hi, Sammy, how are you doing?”

 

“Doing great nearly finished school, so, I can be let out on the public.”

 

“That's great, how's Jess?”

 

“We're fine, she's at her mom and dads today so can't be here. But she sends her love.”

 

“You've met Cas, Sam.” States Dean when his brother ignores his boyfriend.

 

“Yeah, sorry dude, my bad.”

 

“That's alright Samuel,” Castiel states remaining quiet.

 

“Big brother I wondered when you would grace us with your presence,” Jo smirked at Dean and Cas.

 

“You know what it's like with a new relationship Jo.” Dean grins at his sister.

 

“Yeah, never expected for it to last so long with all your issues.” The blonde girl shrugged and walked off to the kitchen.

 

A firm squeeze of Castiel's hand from Dean made the fire in his veins simmer down. He did not like how quickly, they dismissed him, or how they treated Dean.

 

At the dinner table, Dean got his medication out. Dean turned to Castiel.

 

“Cas can you pass me a glass of water please?”

 

“I can love.” Castiel poured the water into a tumbler for Dean.

 

“When did you start taking your medication?” Enquired Ellen giving her son a concerned look across the table.

 

“Leave him be woman.” Muttered Bobby.

 

Castiel had started to like the man, apart from him and Missouri he was the only other member of Deans family that stuck up for him.

 

“I think we all have the right to know Bobby; anything could happen.” Ellen huffed indignantly.

 

“I'm quite capable of taking my medication thanks, mom.” Dean rolled his eyes and got a squeeze of support from under the table from Castiel.

 

“Then why did you need help to get a simple glass of water?” Sneered Jo raising her eyebrow.

 

“Well, Joanna-Beth, the waters in the middle of the table, and I can't stand up without my sticks. There is no shame in asking for help now and then.” Dean glared at his sister.

 

Castiel coughed trying to hide his smile. Jo blushed bright red and hung her head in shame.

 

“We're the ones that will have to pick up the pieces again.” Mumbled Ellen, but one look from Bobby, she shut her mouth with an audible click.

 

The meal was delicious. Ellen certainly knew how to cook. Dean and Castiel would have enjoyed their food immensely if it was not for Ellen badgering Jo and Sam on details about their life. Dean was asked nothing like he was not capable of working. Castiel knew Dean had raised more money for his charity and made headway on another device to help children walk again. He was so proud of the man, and he wished to share it, with his family as he had done with Gabriel.

 

The pie was brought out, and Dean seemed to lighten somehow. Ellen cut them a slice and piled ice-cream into bowls.

 

“Looks like Missouri did us proud again.” Grinned Sam.

 

“I made the pie Sammy,” Dean told his brother.

 

Sam snorted and carried on eating.

 

“No Sam, your brother, made the pie, he worked hard on it,” Castiel told the family not able to stay quiet on the matter.

 

“Oh, well it's great Dean.”

 

Dean looked crestfallen no other comments came his way, and that was it for Castiel. The man could not even finish his pie, and he knew there was something desperately wrong now. Dean looked over at Castiel, and his green-eyes pleaded for help. So Castiel took charge like he knew Dean needed at that moment.

 

Castiel pushed his chair back and started to pack Deans things away and put them in his backpack and put it on the back of his chair.

 

“We're going. Thank you for the food. I won't let Dean be subjected to any more despairing remarks from his so-called family.” Castiel hissed. “Dean, arms in love. I don't want to hurt you.”

 

Sam jumped up knocking his chair back. “You can't boss him about like that.”

 

“I'm taking charge of your brother at this present moment in time Sam because he can't possibly do so for himself. He was so worried about coming here today. When I walked in all, but Bobby ignored me. How do you think that made him feel? You all but ignored him around the table. Deans a hero, he went in with his camera and got pictures no one else dared to. Dean got injured for his sacrifice. There is not one of his pictures up in this house. I know for certain I am proud to call him my partner, my lover.”

 

“Son, calm down,” Bobby stated but with little conviction in his voice.

 

“I'm sorry to voice this in your house, sir. You're the only one that showed any kindness to me today. You talked about Sam and Jo's life yet asked Dean nothing of his. Do you know how much money he's raised for his charity? How much he's helped kids by designing new limbs? No, because you never asked. You're always on his back. Saying he can't live his life just because he's in a wheelchair. Dean is one of the most capable men I know. The thing you fear most that he may drown in that dark place. Will be on you because it will be you that brings him down to that place. Because you can't see him for the amazing person, he is.”

 

“This is all bull; we set you up on that blind date.” Yelled Jo.” It was mom's idea. It was Lisa, who was meant to meet Dean that night, not you.”

 

“Jo stop.” Yelled Ellen but the words had hit there intended mark

 

Dean started to cry, and Castiel pushed him out but stopped near the door. “I hope your all happy now, you've lost one of the best things you ever had in your life.”

 

Dean managed to hold it together so that they could get home. But he collapsed in Castiel's arms, and he sobbed. Castiel picked him up and carried him into the house. Missouri had seen them coming back wanting to know what had happened. Castiel rocked the distraught man trying to calm him.

 

“What went, wrong honey?” Missouri had never seeing her Dean like this before. Devastatingly broken.

 

Castiel told the woman, and she sat down and took both men in her arms. Castiel cried for the handsome man in his arms and the insipid words that had brought their downfall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I get how Dean feels. Ugh.


	13. Scared of my shadow…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean talk, about moving in together. Sexy times happen and the loved-up pair come closer together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning-Sexy times.

 

Castiel was anxious. Dean had not said a word since they had come back. He had made them a light supper of tomato soup and found some crusty bread to go with it. Dean hardly touched his. Getting up wanting something from the car, he searched for his keys.

 

“Are you going to leave me?” Came a small, sad voice.

 

“What! Dean no, never. Not unless you want me too?” Castiel replied with uncertainty.

 

Castiel walked back over to the man and turned his chair around so that he could see his lover. Usually, he would never take over Deans legs like that, but this was different.

 

“Dean talk to me love, what's going through that pretty head of yours?”

 

“I don't care Cas, that you were not my blind date, that you stumbled upon me. That's got to be fate right? How can it not be? Both of us being in the same place at the right time. We were both left stranded by a blind date. We were meant to meet Castiel. I'm utterly certain of this.”

 

Castiel's breath caught with the conviction and truth in Deans words.

 

“A year ago, I would tell you that was a load of hogwash, but now with the evidence in front of me, yes I see this was fated. That the stars aligned, and I was meant to meet the most incredible, sweet kind, and the most adorable person on the entire planet.”

 

“Cassss,” Dean whined blushing bright red.

 

Castiel smirked and kissed Dean on the nose. “I speak the truth baby boy. I am so incredibly lucky to have you in my life. Would you mind if I popped out and got something out of my car?”

 

“Yes, sure.” Dean nodded, a small smile gracing the sadness on his face.

 

“I'll be quick I promise.” Castiel found his keys and rushed out of the house. Knowing he needed to get back to his lover. It hurt his heart, to see Dean so sad. Getting his phone out of his pocket, watching Dean from the window.

 

 _‘Come on Gabe pick up.'_ Castiel thought with urgency.

 

“Hey, Cassie what can I do for you.”

 

“Tell Kali I'm sorry to disturb your Sunday like this big brother, but I need your help.”

 

Castiel could see Dean wheel himself towards the front door, and he opened it. He waved and pointed at the phone. Dean just nodded in acknowledgement.

 

“Cassie, what's wrong?” Came the panicked voice of his brother.

 

Castiel put his hand over the receiver and spoke to Dean. “It's Gabe baby boy is it okay to divulge what went on today?”

 

Dean's heart melted. Castiel always so conscious of his feelings, yet his family never was. And the man before him was the one that struggled with social interaction every day. His family should be ashamed of themselves.

 

“Sure, sweetie I don't mind.”

 

“Go back in you will catch a cold,” Castiel told his lover.

 

“Okay, just…” Dean could not say it. Castiel could see him wrestling with his conscience.

 

“I promise I will be back soon, okay,” Castiel reassured Dean.

 

Dean nodded and turned the chair around.

 

“Sorry about that Gabe. Dean and I need your help.”

 

Castiel told his big brother about how his lover's family treated them, not today but on most days. That Dean was a hero in his eyes. He felt that he needed to stay over because he was worried about Dean's mental health but was scared to come out with it. Scared Dean would not want him because of what Jo had said.

 

“Damn it, Cassie, I knew about it. I left it because you two just got on so well. She had no right to make it seem like it was a dirty secret like it was wrong.”

 

“I know you would never hurt us Gabe, but yes, she did make it seem that way.”

 

“I am so sorry little brother; I was so happy that you found someone.”

 

“Gabe, you're forgiven. I found Dean, that's all that matters. Can you bring me some clothes? I will text you, Deans, address.”

 

“Sure, no worries. I will be there soon, and Kali sends her love.”

 

“Send my love back. Tell her I need to come around for comfort food soon.”

 

Gabriel laughed, “As long as you bring Dean with you.”

 

Castiel beamed, “I would not have it any other way, Gabe.”

 

“See you soon, won't be too long.”

 

Castiel smiled and knew his brother accepted his relationship with Dean, and that's all that mattered. Gabe could get a little overprotective sometimes, but he did let him live his own life. He was a God damn professor, had his own house. Just because he had a learning disability did not mean he was any way stupid or incapable like some people like to treat him and Dean.

 

Castiel walked over to the car and picked up a small green plastic case. He took it back inside. Dean was hovering over the kettle and switched it on when he saw his boyfriend.

 

“I bet you're freezing Cas,” Dean remarked when he saw his red rosy cheeks.

 

“Yes, it's rather cold out there, strange weather we're having.”

 

“Its fall soon it gets that way around here. Let me get you a hot drink.”

 

“That would be lovely Dean. I hope this is not remiss of me, but I don't want you to stay by yourself tonight. I called Gabriel so that he could bring me some clothes.”

 

Dean was quiet for far too long, and Castiel thought he had said something wrong.

 

“Cas, you're just, I need you.” Deans voiced cracked with emotion.

 

Castiel went over and hugged his boyfriend. “I need you to baby boy, always.”

 

 

 

XxXxXxX

 

 

 

Gabriel dropped off a bag of clothes for Castiel; he did not come in because he needed to get back to his wife, who was carrying their first child. Castiel thanked him, hugging his brother for his acceptance of his relationship.

 

“Dean, sweetheart, I want to show you what I got out of the car.”

 

Dean wheeled himself over, and Castiel sat on the couch.

 

“What is it Cas?”

 

“Look, I don't know if it's too soon, but I miss you when you're not around. I love you so much baby boy.” Castiel rambled on.

 

Dean grinned at his boyfriend and reached for his hand. “Show me.”

 

Castiel took a measured breath and took the blueprints out of their green plastic cover.

 

“This is the master bedroom, its large enough to get one them king size electric beds. There is a bay window that looked onto the little woods outside. The floor needs pulling up, but we can lay wooden ones down. There is space here for closets a place for your equipment, and we can hide it, as I know you don't want it in your face all the time. We do however need to widen the doorway.

 

Castiel paused for breath. “We can knock Anna's old room in to make a wet room for you. My office will be turned into a spare bedroom, and we can get a bathroom in their also. We can extend the kitchen, outwards, making the kitchen more prominent — a separate dining area and living area all wooden floors, suitable for your chair. We can get a deck with a slope because I know you love the garden, I often see you looking outside. We can both share an office at the back."

 

“This is amazing Cas.” Dean looks at his boyfriend with bright eyes.

 

“I can sell a couple of Anna's paintings to pay for it.”

 

“First, you're asking me to move in with you? Second, this is a major remodelling of your house? Cas you need to be sure about this. Third, I have money you won't be selling your sisters' paintings.”

 

Castiel sighed. “I know this is a big ask after the emotional day we've had. I want you, Dean; I don't want anyone else in my life, just you.”

 

“Oh, Cas the things that you do to me,” Dean groaned, his face flushed with the effort of holding back.

 

“Dean are you well? What's wrong?” Castiel quizzed in a panic.

 

“I need you, baby; I wish we had that bed. Damn it. The reason I stopped you at the park. I thought I had an issue getting it up. But Castiel you get me hard every time."

 

“Oh, I see.” Castiel's eyes glinted with danger, and he slid to his knees. “Not everything needs a bed baby boy. Will you be good for me mmm?”

 

“Yes, Sir always you're a good boy.” Dean panted his sweats tented.

 

Castiel ran his finger over the prominent bulge in his lover's pants.

 

“Cas.” Dean hissed at how sensitive he was.

 

“I will take care of you, my darling boy. So, good for me. Now, we need to use the traffic light system. It's for your safety; you are the only one that can monitor your pain levels. Do you understand?” Castiel's voice became a strict order.

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Then tell me the colour's baby.” Castiel cooed at his lover.

 

“Green for go. Amber to slow down. Red to stop.”

 

“Good boy, so good for me Dean. Now, do you want to stay in your chair?”

 

“Yes, please, sir.” Dean could not move at that moment in time if someone paid him. Lifting his hips, Castiel slid down his sweats and boxers exposing his rock-hard cock.

 

“Look at you, so hard for me, so wet. I bet you taste divine baby.”

 

“Cas,” Dean whines not sure what he needed.

 

“Hush now, I will take care of you. I take care of what's mine, and you, Dean Winchester, are mine.” Castiel growled.

 

Dean's cock was dripping with pre-cum, and Castiel leant in and lapped it up.

 

“Fuck Cas.” Groned Dean in pleasure. 

 

“You taste so sweet, baby.” Cas hummed licking his lips, slurping the pre-cum up.

 

Castiel positioned himself between Dean's legs. The footrest of the chair flicked up, and Dean's legs were resting either side of him.

 

“Colour sweetheart,” Castiel begged of his lover.

 

“Green so damn green Cas.”

 

The wet heat of Castiel's mouth felt delectably hot on his oversensitive cock. Castiel held his tongue rigidly holding on to Dean's shaft and sliding the head of his lover's cock back and forth across his tongue quickly.

 

Castiel held Deans balls and lavished his attention on them. Kneading his taint gently with his knuckles while still sucking on his lover's cock.

 

“Cas that's...fuck, feel so good.” Dean moaned out loud throwing his head back in bliss.

 

Castiel unzipped his pants and got his weeping cock out and rubbed his member. Moaning, Castiel popped off his lover's cock with an obscene sound.

 

“Dean arms up baby.” Dean complied with the command, and Castiel took his tee-shirt off, and he helped Dean off with his sweats the rest of the way, so he was sitting on the chair naked.

 

Castiel kissed his lover hungrily, delving his tongue into the wet heat of his mouth dominating the man beneath him. Tweaking his nipples and instigating another moan out of Dean. Castiel trailed small kisses down Deans torso and went back to pay his cock more attention.

 

“Colour baby?” Growled Castiel in his gruff voice.

 

“Green.” Dean panted out in pure unadulterated bliss.

 

Castiel pooled saliva into his mouth then used his hand and mouth to simultaneously bob up and down while making a twisting motion with his hand on the head of Dean’s cock. He gobbled his lovers’ cock back down and repeated the action.

 

“Shit Cas that's, keep doing that.” Shouts out, Dean trying to grab hold of something.

 

Castiel kisses Dean's inner thigh leaving little marks in their wake. Tweaking his nipples, enticing, delicious sounds out of his younger lover. Taking his balls into his mouth again and sucking on them.

 

Then he took the tip of Dean's cock into his mouth using his long tongue to flick the spot where the head meets the shaft.

 

“Cas, I need to cum,” Dean shouts moving slightly in the chair.

 

“Steady baby.” Warns Castiel. “Cum for me anytime you want. You have my permission.”

 

“Castiel hollows out his cheek and hums the vibrations, zip down Dean’s cock, and he locks up.

 

“Shit Cas, I'm coming,” Dean screams when fire lights up his veins and stars erupts in front of his eyes.

 

Hot thick cum slides downs Castiel's throat. He sucks harder on Dean's cock until his lover can't take anymore. Stroking his member, standing up he twists his hard cock and cums over Dean's stomach.

 

“Shit that's hot.” Dean' gasps.

 

Castiel rubs his cum into his lover's skin marking him as his. Then proceeds to lick it off, feeding some to Dean.

 

“God Cas you taste good baby.” Dean moans.

 

Castiel kisses his lover chaise and slow, his breath coming back to normal.

 

“I love you so much baby boy.”

 

“I love you, and we are so doing that again.”

 

Castiel chuckles. “I won't argue with that.

 

Castiel helps Dean into the shower, and they get their night clothes on. Not tired, still affected by today's events and recovering from their orgasms. They watch a movie, snuggled up together on the couch. Castiel was holding onto Dean, instinctively knowing what he needs.

 

“Cas.” Dean gets his boyfriends attention.

 

Castiel turns his head away from the screen. “What love?”

 

“It's a yes, I want to move in with you.”

 

Castiel smile lights up Dean's world, and they snuggle closer, safe in the arms of each other.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the questions I get asked. Do disabled people have sex? If I talk about BDSM well lol
> 
> I forgot to mention that the side of a wheelchair comes off to give you room to manoeuvre. The possibilities are endless. ;-)


	14. A small note

A note from me, My computer broke down and I lost all my files. I will update I promise but it will take time. Unlike my other story, I lost most of what I had written. SO I need to re-write this again and do a storyboard. I love this fic its close to my heart because I'm disabled and I get asked so many times if I have a sex life or can I date. Yes, we can. Please bear with me, I am so upset at the moment just need to breathe, eat pie and get back on with it. x


	15. A talk from dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby comes to visit and tries to clear up the issues they had at dinner. Castiel gets ready for, the new semester and Dean helps but gets into trouble.

Castiel was reading a book while Dean pottered around the kitchen. A sharp knock broke the calm silence of the day, and Castiel looked up.

 

“I'll get it, love.” Dean nodded and got back to work.

 

Castiel came back moments later clearing his throat to attract his boyfriend’s attention. Dean looked up with a frown wondering why Castiel seemed nervous.

 

“Cas who is it?”

 

“It's your dad, do you want me to let him in?”

 

Dean let out a deep sigh and wiped his hands on a dish towel. “Yes, best get it over with.”

 

“Dean, remember what I said, this is your life.”

 

“I no Cas, I want to hear what he's got to say.”

 

Castiel tipped his head to one side like he was assessing Dean, then he turned and went out of the room. Moments later coming back with one Bobby Singer, cap clutched firmly in his hand.

 

“Son, thank you for letting me in, letting me talk.”

 

“Sure dad, I'm not mad at you. You were the only one that treated Cas with any respect. Though it would have been nice if you asked about my day sometimes.” Dean closed his eyes and let out a shallow breath he was holding.

 

“Your mom and dad left me with you and Sam when you were nothing, but babies. I promised them I would look and protect you and I let John and Mary down. Dean, you're a goddam hero, and I should have stuck up for you more. I should have put my foot down, and let you live your own life. Your twenty-eight years old not a baby anymore. Like Cas said if it all goes wrong again who are you going to turn to?”

 

“I’m not in that place dad. I've not been there for an exceptionally long time. Cas and I've been talking, and I want to go back into therapy.  He explained to me it could take a while to find one that fits. It’s okay to have down days, okay to be unhappy. That does not mean I will automatically hurt myself.”

 

“I know son, and I see that now.”

 

“Mom tried to make out that I did not tell you about my illness when I ended up in hospital. Dad, it made me feel worse.” Dean whispered wiping a stray tear out of his eye.

 

Bobby narrowed his eyes, the first-time hearing this. “She did what now?”

 

“Sorry Mr Singer, but I was there, on one such occasion,” Castiel told the older man.

 

“Call me Bobby son, your family.” Castiel smiled a little at that.

 

“Dad, I can’t forgive them, not yet. I work, have the means to support myself. I'm independent and want it to stay that way. I love Cas and were moving in with each other, not yet but soon.”

 

Bobby smiled a rare sight coming over to Dean and hugging his son. “I’m so pleased for you both if you need any help let me know. I need to go speak with the other members of this family.”

 

Castiel let Bobby out and came back into the kitchen, where Dean still sat. “I have only seen dad angry a couple of times, and it’s not pretty, I’m glad I’m not them that’s for this.”

 

“I hope they will see the error of their ways, and come and make peace with you, a family's important. At least I have Gabriel and Kali after Mom and Dad passed away.”

 

“I like Gabe; it would be nice to meet Kali. Plus, you're going to be an uncle soon.” Dean beamed.

 

“That I am. I can’t wait to spoil them rotten.” Castiel looked over Deans shoulder and sniffed. “What are you making baby?”

 

“Burgers, the best you ever tried.”

 

“I can’t wait,” Castiel told Dean, fiddling with strands of his short hair. Castiel lent down and kissed Dean on the side of his mouth. “Mmm always so sweet.”

 

“Cas, stop distracting me when I’m cooking.” Whined Dean.

 

Castiel just winked and went back to reading his book.

 

 

XxXxXx

 

 

It was the end of the summer holidays. Castiel had been hard at work sorting his lesson plans out, his lecture schedule and everything that went with the new academic year. He hardly had time to breathe, but Dean helped him immensely by printing his papers and, getting office supplies that he needed. Dean come by the university to help sort his office out, and Castiel had introduced him to his colleagues.

 

“Dean thank you for doing all this,” Castiel told his boyfriend for the fifth time that day.

 

“Chill Cas or you will give yourself a hernia.” Dean looked at his harassed boyfriend.

 

“I just need everything ready, or I will lose my…”

 

“Cas, baby your fine. Everyone loves and respects you even the kids I spoke to. No one looks down on you, so stop, or you will make yourself ill.”

 

Castiel slumped down in his chair and sighed. “I love you, Dean, where would I be without you?”

 

Dean snickered lightly. “In the hospital most likely.” Dean rubbed his thumb gently over his boyfriends’ hand. “My amazing, nerdy, teacher.”

 

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Come, let’s grab some lunch.”

 

Taking Deans hand like always while Dean wheeled with the other until they came to a ramp, where he would need both hands. They walked around the corner to a little sandwich shop. Some of Castiel’s colleagues were there, so they sat with them.

 

They were friendly, and they chattered on about the new semester and what they were teaching.

 

“So, Dean. Castiel never did say what you did.” Molly asked a colleague of Castiel’s.

 

“I’m a Dr of Engineering; I work at the hospital. Nothing special, Castiel’s the brainy one between us.”

 

“Sure, that’s not true.” Molly smiled.

 

Castiel cleared his throat, and Dean looked over at his lover, and he knew in an instant he was in big trouble. Castiel’s eyes dangerously narrowed, and his piercing gaze never left his face.

 

 _‘Oh shit,’_ Dean thought.

 

“Dean jests Molly, he makes and designs limbs for those who can’t afford it. I call him my hero.”

 

All eyes swing to Dean; he felt his face heat up. “Dean knew the next words could dig him deeper but how could he come off modest and not get his ass tanned by his lover.

 

“I do my best; I have my charity helping those hurt in landmines and such."

 

“I think that’s amazing work, Dean. I agree with Castiel’s assessment, you’re a hero, and you should not put yourself down.”

 

“We're working on that Molly.” Blue eyes flashed over Dean, and he tried to swallow his bite, but it felt like it was stuck.

 

“Have you finished love?” Castiel asked far too pleasantly for Deans liking.

 

“Sure Cas, can you push me please?” Castiel looked slightly taken back with the request but did so anyway.

 

They walked towards the university. Dean, putting his hands out and putting on the brakes. Castiel walked around the chair and knelt coming to Deans eye-level.

 

“I’m sorry Cas. I don’t feel good about myself, and I doubt I ever will.”

 

“I know love, but you can’t walk away from your punishment. That’s not how it works. For too long, you only see the bad parts, but I want you to see the wonderful, spectacular parts of Dean Winchester.”

 

“I feel like I let you down.” Dean rubbed at his eyes tiredly.

 

Castiel grabbed tenderly at his chin, looking into emerald green eyes. “You have never let me down. I doubt you ever will. I am proud to call you mine.”

 

“Cas, in the interest of not getting further punishment I-I don’t feel special.”

 

“You are to me, Dean Winchester. You have changed my life in so many ways.”

 

“Then that’s all that matters.” Dean slung his arms around Castiel’s neck and held him tight.

 

“I love you so much Castiel.”

 

“As I love you, Dean.”

 

 


	16. Family Matters.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo and Sam call around and make Dean unhappy. Deans still upset about Castiel asking about his money issues and they get into a fight.

Dean missed Castiel now he was back at work full time. He did not work at Charlie's anymore unless she needed him. Dean went into the hospital on a Thursday and Friday. Castiel was still concerned about his income, he tried to curtail an argument, but knew he was running headlong into one.

 

Dean tidied his place up, then made pulled pork in his crock pot, so he had something for later.

 

“Dean love, I’m popping down to the bakers is there anything you need?” Missouri asked from the front door.

 

“I need some, rolls and a pie would be nice.”

 

“You look tried to love.” Missouri chided kindly.

 

“Yeah, the weather, and stress a flare-up's imminent.” Dean groaned, irritably.

 

Missouri nodded in abject sympathy knowing how Dean suffered. “I need to get your light out. Your young man will help me. My bones are no good climbing up ladders these days.”

 

“Ask Cas he won’t mind. Thanks for doing the shopping.”

 

“Well, I was going. Rufus is coming over, and that mans set in his ways.”

 

Dean laughed and nodded. Rufus was an old friend of his dads and last Christmas both he and Missouri had hit it off. The older man was often next door.

 

“I'll see you soon, get some rest while I’m gone.”

 

“Sure,”

 

Dean sorted the pork out and cleaned the kitchen. Tired he was about to put a DVD on and snuggle on the couch when the doorbell rang. It was getting towards lunchtime; Dean wondered who it could be. Wheeling himself to the front door he saw it was Sam and Jo. ‘Great, all I need.’ Dean grumbled to himself but let his siblings in.

 

“Do you need help, Dean?” Jo asked concern etched on her face.

 

It got Deans back up straight away. “I will ask Jo if I need it.”

 

“She was just trying to help Dean.” Sam abolished his brother.

 

“You see Sam; I don’t need the help. I am twenty-eight years old. If I was not disabled would either of you be this concern for my health?” Dean glared at both, of his siblings.

 

Sam and Jo looked between them and hung their heads not speaking a word. Dean crossed his arms, he heard the door go, and Missouri stood on the threshold but did not intervene.

 

“Why did you come?” Dean declared sharply.

 

“We wanted to say sorry for how we treated you,” Jo told her brother in a tight voice.

 

“Treated me when? Like last Sunday or since I became disabled? Also, it was not just me it was Castiel.” Dean watched as Jo scrunched her nose in distaste at the name. “Dad put you up to this. I tell you what when you are sorry. When you understand what I go through, what Castiel goes through every fucking day of our lives, then you can come back. Until then you’re not welcome in our home.”

 

“Dean your making too big a deal out of this.” Huffed Sam rolling his hazel eyes.

 

Dean snorted and turned on his younger brother. "Excuse me, Sam? If I disrespected Jessica, this conversation would be going an entirely different way. You have no respect for me or my boyfriend. You, care little for me or my life. You never ask me about my day or want to know. I am nothing to you.”

 

“Dean, that’s not-” Sam stuttered finally getting that his big brother was angry with him, that he was throwing him out.

 

“What! Sam, the truth? Go the both of you. You hate that I’m happy for the first time in my life. That I’m independent and you can’t handle that. Please go.”

 

Missouri stepped in and opened the door with force. “I think you should both go and think about what Dean's told you.”

 

Sam nodded and took Jo's arm, and they both left not looking back at Dean once. Dean broke down, and Missouri held her friend until he stopped crying.

 

“Thanks, Missouri, not sure where I would be without you.”

 

“It will take time Dean, but they will see, and learn what it’s like not to have you in their life. How much richer it is to have you in it. They will come back, and it will all work out in the end.”

 

“I hope so, there the only family I have.”

 

Missouri smiled “Not the only ones.”

 

Dean sniffed and nodded and knew Missouri would be there for him no matter what.

 

 

  
XxXxXx

 

 

 

Castiel had texted him to say he was coming over for dinner. So, Dean had set everything up. Still physically and emotionally drained, Dean set up the table and got the pork ready. He had made coleslaw and put the sodas in the fridge to cool.

 

Castiel had his key to let himself in. Dean noted the older man looked tired, but his spirit, uplifted, from his day at work.

 

“Had a good day babe?” Dean enquired.

 

“Yes, love it's great getting to know all the new kids, seeing them come alive, that they can be more expressive in college.”

 

“Yeah, that they are grown up and can have their own opinions.” Snorted Dean, grinning.

 

“Something like that, this looks wonderful.” Castiel eyed the rolls and started to pile pork and coleslaw onto it.

 

“Did you eat at all today? Dean asked his lover, shaking his head in amazement at Castiel’s apparent hunger.

 

“I tshhh aaet…" Castiel swallowed his mouth full. "Sorry, I tried, but we were busy.” Castiel moaned taking another colossal bite; barbecue sauce dribbling down his chin.

 

Dean giggled and wheel around the table and wiped the mess of his boyfriend. “You’re a grub.”

 

“But I’m your grub.” Castiel grinned the toothy one that Dean loved.

 

Dean rolled his eyes but nodded. “That you are.”

 

They eat quietly Castiel taking his food seriously and clearing four rolls to Deans two. “That was fantastic love; is there dessert?” Castiel queried his eyes roaming the kitchen side to see if he could spot anything.

 

“Not homemade but there is pie.” Dean wheeled himself around, but his fingers hurt, and he hissed with pain.

 

“You okay their love?” Castiel probed halfway up out of the chair. Now usually that would not have bothered Dean, but after the day he had with his siblings, it annoyed him.

 

“I’m fine Cas, perfectly capable of getting pie.” He bit back.

 

“I-I no love,” Castiel whispered confused by his boyfriend’s abrupt manner. Sitting back down but making no further comment.

 

Dean served the pie, but the light atmosphere of before felt broke, stilted, heavy. Dean knew he had caused it tried to mend it, but with Castiel’s issues, he had not realised that Dean was hurting, that his boyfriend was right on the edge of breaking down. Castiel knew Dean well but not always great at picking up shuttle hints, so he careered headlong into a fight.

 

“This was nice Dean but nowhere near as good as yours.”

 

“I did not have the time.” Dean snapped, gripping the table feeling his anger bubble to the surface.

 

Castiel still not getting the hint, carried on. “Dean we need to talk about the renovations and the paintings I need to sell.”

 

“I told you Cas money is not an issue. I don’t want you to sell Anna’s pictures; they mean too much to you.”

 

“You’re not working full time, and money must be tight.” Castiel tried to reason with Dean.

 

“For fuck's sake your like everyone else. I have money, I may be disabled, but I’m far from stupid.” Dean spat like a spitting cobra on full alert.

 

Castiel’s eyes went wide in shock. “I never said you were, but you never tell me anything. How was I to know?”

 

“You go on and on; you won’t stop. Why do you keep pushing me? Cas, go please.” Dean shouted, needing air, so he swiftly turned his chair around.

 

“Dean, I don’t get what I’ve done?” Castiel cried with such a small voice; it broke Deans' heart.

 

“C-Castiel j-just go please, I need space.” Dean stuttered not sure what to do at that moment.

 

Castiel’s stood, wanting to reach out but shook his head, sadness falling like a winter’s night, fast and cold. “If that’s what you need.”

 

Dean heard the shuffle of feet, and the silence of the door closing and his lover had gone. Looking at his phone, flicking through the contacts. He could call Charlie, but she was on a date with Dorothy. There was no one to call; he was alone.

 

Castiel rubbed harshly at his face and rushed over to his car. Shaking with fear and sadness, not understanding what had gone wrong. ‘Did Dean not want him anymore? Why was he so cross with him?’

 

“Castiel I am so glad I caught you sugar?” Missouri’s clear voice rang through his maudlin thoughts. “Whatever is the matter, honey?”

 

“Dean, he told me to go, and I don’t know why.” Sobbed Castiel who fell into Missouri arms.

 

Missouri was not a meddler, but she knew that Dean would need her man. That Castiel would need Dean, all it would take was to clear this simple misunderstanding up.

 

“Deans heading for a flair I can see it clear as winters knocking on our door. He never got his rest; today, Sam and Jo came around, and it was not a pleasant confrontation. I stepped in, at the end. That boy needs you to hold him Castiel, go back to him.”

 

“Dean does not want me.” Sniffed Castiel, hopelessness laced his tone.

 

“That boy in back there is suffering, and he’s getting sick. If you walk out, it will just prove to him that no one wants him. Sometimes we have to be the bigger person and today's that’s your job honey.”

 

“It's just; I love him so much,” Castiel told the older woman, trying to catch his breath.

 

“And he loves you, now go, please he needs you.”

 

Missouri handed him a fresh pack of tissues and cleaned himself. Then a look of determination flashed across his face. Castiel straightened his back and strode quickly across the driveway. Upon opening the door, he walked into the living area and saw that Dean was still in the same spot he had left him in.

 

Deans whole body was shaking, and he dropped his phone on the floor putting his head in his hands saying over and over ‘There all gone, everyone is gone.’

 

Castiel walked over to Dean softly but made sure that the younger man heard him. He lent over Dean and just held him in his arms. “Not everyone sweetheart, I won't leave, not now, or ever. Even when you push me away.”

 

Castiel rocked Dean; he could feel him slumped against him tired out, exhausted. “Let’s get you to bed; you need sleep.”

 

Dean made no noise about the help received; he just went with it. Castiel helped him with his medications, got him undressed, helped him in the bathroom. Got him settled in bed.

 

“I'll stay the night, call me if you need anything.”

 

“Cas, I’m sorry.” Dean choked out, lost in misery.

 

“Shhh now, sleep love, we will talk in the morning.”

 

Castiel gently stroked his long fingers through his lover’s hair, and his eyelids fluttered shut. His breathing evened out, and he was soon fast asleep.

 

Castiel kept night things, in Deans room now, and slept in a cot bed near him so he could be close to Dean if he needed him in the night. The older man could not sleep his mind turbulent, wondering why Dean had treated him like that in the first place. Why had he not understood that Dean was cross? Turning over he let out a sigh, thumping his pillow.

 

“Cas.” Came the small voice in the dark.

 

“Yes, Dean. What do you need?”

 

“You did nothing; it was never you. I know your worried that you said or did something. I-I should have never made you feel like that. I know your disability, yet I still never asked for you to leave, just for a while so I could calm down. You always take mine into account, for that, I am so deeply sorry.”

 

“I never want to hurt you, Dean; I can’t understand why? Why you would do that to me?” Castiel's voice sounded hurt and broken, and Dean hated himself for it.

 

“I know sweetheart, Sam and Jo and the flare and then the money issue you kept pushing. I’m so stupid I can never do anything right, that’s me though, ruin everything I touch.”

 

Castiel shifted, and the cot made a squeak in protest. “If you told me I would have understood better.” Croaked Castiel sniffing.

 

Dean laughed hollowly. “My pictures sold Cas; I have money. Also, I get money from some patents, not the ones I do for the kid’s, others. I work because I would get bored not because I need to.”

 

“If we are sharing the house, I feel that we both need to contribute,” Castiel explained.

 

“But you are Cas, it's already your house, so what I’m putting in is nothing compared to that.”

 

“Oh, I see. I want to decorate make it look nice.”

 

“Fine by me, but please don’t sell your sisters paintings, I’m not worth that.”

 

Dean heard Castiel move again and the little bit of moonlight creeping through the curtain showed Castiel shift closer to him. Castiel grasped Deans warm hand in his, needed contact.

 

“I loved Anna, she was my sister, my best friend but she’s gone. You are my life; I hope to make a future with you. I know my older sister, Anna would approve. I will sell one of them so that I can make our home, a real home for the two of us.”

 

“I would love that Cas, thank you.”

 

“Now, get some sleep, that’s an order.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Yes, Sir.”

 

“Don’t think you're getting off with talking down about yourself Dean,” Castiel growled out in warning. “That's five more I owe you.”

 

“Shit.” Dean cursed.

 

Castiel laughed and held his boyfriend’s hand tightly. “Goodnight baby boy, sleep well.”

 

“Night Cas, see you in the morning.”

 

They both settled back to sleep and did not wake until the alarm Castiel had set went off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this has taken so long, I lost all my back up files, so had to redo everything. I am also back at school and have that to sort out.


	17. Moving forward.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean feels terrible about the fight. But was it all his fault? Kali comes to his aid.

Castiel and Dean went about their morning routine. Dean noticed his boyfriend was, unusually quiet, and it pained him. Dean went into his office and pulled his bank letters, so he could show his boyfriend, and stop his worry. Castiel call him for breakfast, and Dean thanked the man pushing the paper across the table.

 

Castiel looked and put his fingers on the white paper. “What’s this?”

 

“After last night, please look. If it will decrease your concerns about money issues.”

 

Castiel realised what he held in his hands, and his eyes went wide. “I can’t Dean this is private, and I trust you.”

 

“I trust you too. I thought we were life partners? Don’t they share everything?”

 

Castiel worried his lips between his teeth, his cheeks dusted with pink and nodded. “That’s, Dean. That’s a lot of zeros.” Castiel choked out.

 

Dean laughed. “My family have no idea. I never spent it. I pay for Missouri’s help, though she won’t take much. I know you want to sell Annas pictures, but you don’t have to sweetheart. I hate to see the pain on your face when you even approach the subject.”

 

Castiel flung himself on Dean sobbing. “D-Dean, thank you.”

 

“Hey, come on. Let’s get the plans finalised and get your builder started. Then go and visit Gabe and Kali.”

 

Castiel rubbed at his eyes. “I would like that.”

 

Dean tenderly kissed Castiel. “I love you so much, baby. I will try harder I promise.”

 

Castiel clung on to Dean never wanting to let go. Dean's arms were home to him. 

 

 

XxXxXxXx

 

 

 

Dean and Castiel sat in Harry Tumblers office. It was warm, and they both drank cups of hot tea. Harry smiled at both men, looking up from the blue plans sprawled in front of him.

 

“The plans have been passed no one’s objected to them. We can get started next week. We have a site meeting once a fortnight when you're satisfied you will then deposit the money, into our account. We, work like this because it puts your mind at rest that we are not cowboys and we can rectify any mistakes.”

 

“That’s a great Harry; it will be either myself of Cas coming to check on how it's going. We need to move Castiel out first though.”

 

Harry tapped his pen to an unknown tune on the wooden table top. “Can you do it by next Saturday? Then we can move the equipment in on Sunday.”

 

Castiel looked over at Dean squeezing his hand. “Yes, we can do that. My brothers offed to help, and Deans dad can pitch in.”

 

Harry stood up and came about offering his hand to Dean and then Castiel. “Pleasure to do business boys. I will contact you if any problems arise, but I don’t foresee that.”

 

Castiel helped Dean back to Lady; the going was a little rough for him. 

 

“Cas, I'm so excited, we're getting a new home."

 

Castiel snatched a kiss laughing. “So, am I darling boy. You have no idea.”

 

They found the way to Gabriel and Kali’s apartment block. Gabriel was waiting for them, not looking overly happy. Castiel got out and started speaking to his brother looking back at Dean. He opened the door with slight reluctance.

 

“Dean, Gabe says the elevators were broken, there on the second floor. We can go, or I can carry you up?”

 

Dean was sure of a couple of things. The fight had cut deeply, more so then he had first realised. It had upset Castiel’s world his lover was unsure about Dean and his disability. Dean could see that Castiel wanted to stay but did not want to ask Dean if he could carry him up, in case it caused another argument. Dean swallowed back a pained cry; his chest felt tight.

 

“Y-you can carry me up Cas; I don’t mind.”

 

Castiel nodded and helped Dean out of the car. Gabriel got his chair and sticks. Castiel held him with care, so much tenderness it broke Deans heart over again. This man, his world, loved him, with everything he gave.

 

Castiel put Dean on the brown leather couch and placed his chair next to him, and his sticks by his side. He went over to the kitchen and was whispering to Gabe.

 

Kali came over and greeted Dean and looked vexed at the two-brothers behavior.

 

“Love, we are popping out for few bits we forgot. Cassie is coming with.”

 

Kali raised her eyebrow but said very little. “Sure, don’t be too long.” Gabriel kissed her, and the brothers turned and went out.

 

“So, you going to tell me, why my husband, just dragged his brother outside for no apparent reason?” Kali turned her kind brown eyes on Dean.

 

Dean put his head in his hands and started to sob. “Hey, come on it can’t be all that bad.”

 

“We argued. Cas kept pushing me. I had a bad, day and told him to leave it, but he pushed and pushed. Then he left but came back. He was upset because he had no understanding of why I would shout at him like that. I could have worded it better.”

 

Kali put her arm around the younger man mindful of her baby bump. “Listen to me Dean, Castiel’s a big boy. Yes, he’s got a learning disability. But he’s got to realise all couples will fight, and not always say the right thing. Castiel certainly has no right to grab his brother after every fight and leave you like this. I will have words.”

 

“No, it's fine.” Dean sniffed into a tissue that Kali had offered him.

 

“No, love it's not. There is no excuse. I can see you’re not well, and sometimes we get tipped over the edge. Come up with a strategy for this situation, for instance, if you're angry, you say you need a time out. Then when you calm down, you can both talk calmly.”

 

Dean whispered. “Is that what you do with Gabe?

 

Kali laughed. “Sure, and we don’t have your issues. Dean, you have to work together, or a relationship will never work.”

 

They heard the key in the door, and Kali stood up her brown eyes blazing narrowed and her arms tightly folder resting on his bump.

 

“Right, Gabriel bedroom. Castiel spare bedroom, we need a talk, now.”

 

Both brothers’ eyes went wide and knew not to mess with the beautiful woman when she was in this mood. Kali turned and winked at Dean. “I hear you’re a whiz in the kitchen?”

 

“Yes,” Dean nodded enthusiastically.

 

“Then don’t let anything burn." She scolded slightly and waltzed off towards the bedroom. Dean grinned and got into his chair and wheeled himself over to the kitchen.

 

 

  
XxXxXx

 

 

  
Kali gentry opened the door to the spare bedroom. Castiel sat on a green chair, his hands clasped together eyes closed.

 

“Castiel, you had no right to walk out on him. I don’t care, that you have issues, you’re a big boy so start acting like it. We all have arguments, they happened. If your disability gets in the way you work around it, you taught me that. That poor boy in there is, sick, tired and mental exhausted. How could you not see that?”

 

“I-I was so wrapped up in work” Castiel stuttered.

 

“That’s no excuse, and you blamed your issues on him. Making him feel much worse, making him think he let you down."

 

“He never let me down,” Castiel growled, his eyes flashing with anger.

 

“Then you better tell him that.” Shouted Kali. “Start, showing him before you lose him. Now, if you want my help ask for it. I have given him tips already.”

 

Castiel sighed and nodded. “Thank you, Kali.”

 

“I need to go see my husband.” Castiel winced, and the door shut far to silently behind him.

 

 

  
XxXxXx

 

 

  
“How’s the food looking Dean?” Kali asked.

 

“The rice has finished, and I've taken everything else off the stove. It smells wonderful.”

 

“Good, your niece and nephew are hungry.”

 

Dean turned in shock. “My…”

 

Kali rolled her eyes. “You’re a part of this family are you not?”

 

Deans eyes narrowed and nodded. “I'll be the damn best uncle out there, even better than Cas.”

 

Kalie smiled. “I don’t doubt that. Now, I have two sucking men on my hands, would you go set the table for me?”

 

“Sure, show me where everything is.”

 

Dean liked Kali this was the first time they had met, though they had spoken on the phone. She was like a bossy older sister. Kali never looked at him like he had anything wrong, though she compensated for his issues. Trusted Dean to ask when he needed help. It endeared her to Dean, and a firm friendship evolved.

 

“I put a jug of iced water in the fridge. “I thought you would like it and myself and Cas don’t drink.”

 

“It's nice to see Castiel not drinking after Meg died, he would drink on his medication. I have never seen him touch a drop since.”

 

Dean stopped and turned his face draining of colour. “He never told you that did he?”

 

“No, I guess we still have a lot to leaner about each other.”

 

“Damn, I am sorry Dean, I assumed he would.”

 

“My mom and dad died when my brother Sam and I were kids. I was ten and Sam was six. They had made a will, making sure if anything happened to them, my uncle and aunt would take us in. That was a month before they died. Anyway, I always say I don’t remember much about mom or dad, but I do. The accident made me sick; I could not talk for a year after and I saw a therapist, they left me after that. I did not talk about it. My dad drank, so much, mum and dad were always arguing. I was scared, and the night before they died, I wish he was dead.”

 

Kali came over and rubbed his arm. “Hey, you know that’s just pure coincidence. You were a baby, just wanting out of the pain.”

 

“People have asked why I don’t drink. I have the occasional beer mostly I don’t. I site my medication, and they nod in understanding.”

 

Castiel heard every word; tears trickled down his face. Dean was in so much pain, and he could not confide in him. Dean had been scared but he still pushed his boy, and he had not noticed. What he had done was far worse than Dean losing his temper. He had abandoned him. Well, he was going to make up for that mistake, and learn from it. Like Kali stated, he was a big boy, and he needed to implement change.

 

 

  
XxXxXxXx

 

 

  
“That was amazing thank you so much, Kali.”

 

“We will let the boys wash up, as their punishment. Castiel and Gabriel groaned, but they got up good naturally.

 

Dean and Kali talked to them, while they worked.

 

“So, we need to arrange transport and a storage facility Cassie. Not all your goods will fit into Deans house.”

 

“I can ring around Monday.” Suggested Dean.

 

“You do that and let me know. I will hire the van.”

 

“I texted dad, and he and Benny will help us move.”

 

“I have Thursday afternoon and Friday off. They are doing some maintenance to the water supply, so all classes are canceled, and everyone that can has been asked to go home.

 

“Great, well Dean-o and I will get on to that. We can start packing boxes and getting things moving. You best hide the things you don’t want us to see.” Gabriel waggled his eyebrow. Kali smacked him on the arm but grinned, never the less.

 

Castiel raised what Dean called his dom brow. “I don’t think you could handle what I keep under my bed brother.” In a deadpan voice.

 

Gabriel looked shocked, and Dean and Kali giggled. “We need to talk Dean.” Kali winked.

 

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Well we best be going, I need to take Dean home before he gets himself into any more trouble.

 

Dean blushed bright red and Gabriel groaned. “I did not hear that.”

 

“Like you’re a saint in bed love, how do you think this got in here,” Kali smirked rubbing her bump lovingly.

 

Castiel rolled his eyes and got Deans coat for him. Lifting him, he kissed Kali goodbye.

 

“Don’t let my brother get into too much trouble.”

 

“Hey, I’m a saint.” Protested Gabriel, sulkily, but with a twinkle in his honey eyes

 

“Dean you know where I am.” Kali told the young man with a much more serious tone.” Dean nodded in understanding.

 

They drove home in peaceful, quiet. Castiel’s hand, nestled in Deans lap. Fingers entwined never letting each other go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though the world is not always kind to disabled people. This does not mean a disabled person needs to treat the world with hate. You have to learn to adjust with issues in your life. If you can't get over the wall find another way around. 
> 
> Sorry, about the lateness, my depression is kicking my ass. xxx


	18. The way it changed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel and Dean move Castiel out of the bungalow. And Ellen comes around to see the boys.

 

Dean started sorting out his junk so that he would have space for Castiel’s belongings. Missouri came to help.

 

“I will take this to Goodwill honey. That’s a lot of items you have sorted out.”

 

“Yes, clothes that don’t fit. Books, papers. Someone might have a use for it.”

 

“One man’s junk is another man’s treasure they say.” Missouri chuckled.

 

Dean helped the older woman with the bags and boxes to her car. “I will call Gabe, see if he’s got a van yet. He said he was picking up boxes and tape. I hope we can go over to Cas' house tomorrow, to sort his stuff out. Cas said he was sticking post-it notes on everything he wanted to keep and put in storage.

 

“Sounds like sensible Cas. Is he coming over tonight?”

 

“Cas likes spending time with me. I don’t have any objection.” Dean shrugged.

 

“Do you need anything from the store for supper?”

 

Dean shook his head. “No, I put chilli in the crockpot. Bring your bowl around later, if you want any.”

 

“Thanks’ honey, see you later then.”

 

Dean waved goodbye to his old friend and went back inside.

 

 

 

XxXxXx

 

 

 

The next day Gabriel came bounding up to Dean, who was giving Lady a once over, the best he could. Dean looked around for the van but could not see it.

 

“I parked the van outside your driveway. Not sure I could get it down. The only size I could get was a large one. Let’s get Cassie's things packed and taken to the storage place. Then Cassie can help shift his items to your house.”

 

Dean put the tools away and went to wash his hands. He followed Gabriel to Castiel’s apartment in his car. No way could he get in a van.

 

Gabriel helped Dean pack, wrap and box all Castiel’s belongings. Gabriel insisted Dean did Castiel’s bedroom, mindful of his warning. Castiel had left little notes dotted around the house, about what had needed to go in storage. They would need Castiel and Benny’s help for the larger items likes the couch and cupboards.

 

On Thursday Castiel helped Benny and Gabriel move his large items to storage and through Friday. All his things were packed, and the little bungalow stood empty. Kitchenware could be sorted out once they moved, as they would not need two of everything. Dean decided that Castiel's television was better than his, though his DVD unit was up to date.

 

Dean had a small spare room, come office. That had a single bed which would double as Castiel’s bedroom for now. Dean told his boyfriend he could not wait for them to have the top of the range electric bed, with memory foam mattress. Then they could be like a real couple for once and share.

 

Harry moved his crew in on Sunday morning and started their work. Castiel only had one neighbour, and he was not there much. It was his mother's old house, and she had died a little over a year ago. The man used it when he visited his family in the area and told Castiel that the work would not inconvenience him.

 

“Cas I can’t wait to move in together.” Dean sighed his head lay on his boyfriend's lap.

 

Castiel smiled down at his younger lover. Dragging his fingers through his short brown hair. “I know, love me too. I love you, Dean, so much.”

 

Dean beamed back and kissed his fingers placing them on Castiel's pink lips. “Love you too sweetheart.”

 

 

 

XxxxxXxxxXx

 

 

 

The next day Castiel went to work. Dean went out to touch base with his charity. Moreover, to add the final touches to the project his friends at the hospital were putting together. It was for those families who could not afford prostatic limbs, either through lack of insurance or poverty. They firmly believed everyone had the right to walk or have the use of their hands or arms, no matter what your circumstance. The team at the hospital tried to cut the cost down but not the quality of the product.

 

Dean hoped Castiel would not mind take-out for supper. He drove Lady back into the driveway only to find his moms' car idling there. Dean got out and sighed, noticing Missouri was looking out of her window. She was on the phone, and he waved at her.

 

Dean wheeled himself to his front door. Hearing the slam of the car door and the crunch of boots knowing she was following him. He turned his chair around and stopped her from entering.

 

“Maybe you should come back when I have Cas here or Missouri.” Dean looked up at his mom's concerned face she had spotted how exhausted he was.

 

Ellen folded her arms, and her lips thinned. “I thought you could look after yourself? Why can’t you speak to your mom without a chaperone?”

 

“Oh, believe me, I can, but for both our sakes it would be best if someone could mediate.”

 

Ellen huffed and nodded, she turned and walked over to Missouri’s. Dean heard a car rumble down the drive and saw it was Castiel. ‘Thanks, Missouri’ He mumbled.

 

“Love what’s going on? Missouri called me.” Castiel frowned concern written on his face.

 

Dean sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. “Mom.”

 

Ellen walked around again, and Castiel nodded at Dean to go indoors. “Please, come in Ellen.”

 

“Thank you, Castiel, Dean, honey for seeing me.”

 

“Would, you like to stay for supper? We're take-out.” Dean chipped in trying to lighten the mood.

 

“We are?” Castiel asked raising his eyebrow.

 

Ellen chuckled. “No, sweetie. It's nice to see that your being looked after.”

 

“Hey, I cook, eat healthily.” Dean's pout caused Castiel to bend down and kiss his protruding lip.

 

“Sure baby, let me go order for us.” Castiel chuckled and went to grab the phone.

 

Dean, your dad, told me your moving in together that’s a big step.”

 

“Mom.” Dean was about to say something, but Ellen held her hand up.

 

“Let me finish, it’s a big step, but I know you're capable of taking it. I’ve mistreated you. You’re not weak, not a child and you would ask for help if you needed it. I guess I got scared, and you're still my baby Dean even if you're all grown up.”

 

Castiel walked back over to Dean and held his hand in comfort. Ellen’s eyes softened at the gesture.

 

“Deans easy to love Ellen. You brought him up to be a fine, caring, compassionate man.”

 

“Don’t think I’m not proud of your accomplishments your work. Dean, it makes me ill, brings me back to the dark days. I realised this is my issue and I am getting help for it. I never had a clue how it had affected me, and my outlook on your life, how I was treating you.”

 

“Mom, that’s brave, to admit that.”

 

“No, sweetheart you’re the hero around here. I think Castiel and your dads correct you need to contact these people and tell them who you are. What you did Dean, it was amazing. What you do with your charity, your work at the hospital. Dean, I need time to get back to myself, I hope when I feel better, I can be welcomed back into your life.”

 

“Oh, mom.” Dean held his arms and Ellen fell into them, but she dragged Castiel in for a hug too.

 

“Look after him Castiel, and when its time I would love to get to know you better.” Ellen wiped at her eyes, and Castiel passed her a tissue.

 

“Thank you, love. I will be going now. If you need us to call, but I think you have everything you need in this young man.”

 

“Ellen you're always welcome back here. I want myself, and Dean treated.,” Castiel closed his eyes, and he shook slightly.

 

“You will both be treated with the respect and love like all family members. I won't stand for anything less.” Ellen kissed Castiel on the cheek. Then she was gone leaving the boys with a sense of hope for their fractured family.

 

“Well, that went well.” Dean sniffed blowing his nose.

 

“Better than I thought it would. It's great that your mom is getting help. I guess your illness and what happened to you after it had a significant impact on her and how she treated you now though that’s no excuse for her behaviour.

 

“I hope Sam and Jo, will come around to seeing that. However, I get it Cas, and it can't be easy on anyone.”

 

The bell rang, and Castiel went to pay the pizza man. Coming back in he pulled his fingers through messy black hair, he seemed nervous.

 

“Dean we need to talk, I can’t put it off any longer.”

 

Dean swivelled his chair around. His face going pale.

 

“Well, that sounds ominous,” Dean whispered not sure what else to say.

 

“It’s about our relationship; I think I made a big mistake…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. No matter your religion I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. Much Love. xxx


	19. The twist of words.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel muddles his words, and Dean gets troubled, but they sort there issues out. Dean's health gets worse, but Castiel deals with everything that comes with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own any of the songs mentioned.

Castiel looked at Deans' face, his eyes wide with apprehension. “No, baby boy not like that. I-I look, sit with me please.”

 

“What do you mean Cas?” Dean trembled in fear.

 

“Listen, love; I’ve moved in, do you think for one moment I would leave you?” Castiel saw uncertainty in the depth of those emerald green eyes.

 

“You may have changed your mind.” Whispered Dean carefully.

 

“Never sweet boy, you're mine remember? Now sit next to me I need to talk about our physical relationship.”

 

“Oh, that.” Dean blushed as he held his hand out for his partner to help him to the couch.

 

Castiel grabbed a shaft of paper from the table and placed it in Deans lap. “I realised we've not sat and talked about our dynamics and this is remiss of me. I promised punishment and did not carry it out. That’s bad practice on my part Dean. We need to set rules down, so we both know what to expect.”

 

Dean started to peruse the paperwork, and Castiel tapped his chin so his lover would pay him, attention.

 

“Love write down all your hard and soft limits. We have certain issues to overcome, not all are achievable, but together we can still explore. You need a Safeword, though we can use the traffic light system.”

 

“When I've been bad, how will you punish me?”

 

“Baby, if you need punishment it will happen on that day or not at all. You are never bad sweetheart; it’s a correction for you to learn from.”

 

“Sure Cas, would you get the soda so that we can eat please?”

 

“I can baby, you look exhausted.”

 

“Yes, that’s why I did not cook tonight, I hope you don’t mind.”

 

Castiel put two soda cans next to Deans hand. “No, but I can put something in the crockpot for tomorrow, so you don’t have to concern yourself.”

 

“I think this flair-ups hitting full force with all the work I’ve been doing. Don’t get me wrong I’m glad you’re here, and we are building a new chapter together, but it's all catching up with me.”

 

“Then finish looking up any information on the internet or ask me. Take your time. Tomorrow is a new day baby boy.”

 

Dean sat with his head on Castiel’s lap after they cleared up. But his eyes kept shutting and Dean decided it was bedtime. Yawning Castiel kissed him goodnight, and he fell into a dreamless sleep.

 

 

XxXxXxXx

 

 

Dean woke, and pain assaulted him. Moving was too much effort, the light hurt his eyes, his cotton tee-shirt irritated his skin. Groaning he tried to sleep again but he was too exhausted, and his body rebelled.

 

“Hey love, bad day I see.” Missouri came in and helped sort Dean out. Washing him down and putting new, baggy clothes on him.

 

“Sorry Miss, too much effort.” Dean groaned with the movement.

 

“I know love, don’t worry. I need to text Castiel and then get your food.”

 

“Don’t wanna worry him.” Dean slurred his words.

 

“That young man needs to know your condition, or he won’t be good for anybody today. Now, rest this is your body’s way of telling you to stop.”

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

Dean hardly ate, his muscles twitched, his head had sudden sharp pains blast through. The room was in darkness; Dean could not stand any noise. Tears of hopelessness and hate for his disability drenched his clothes, but there was nothing he could do but ride the roller-coaster.

 

 

XxXxXxX

 

 

Castiel walked into the room and saw the state of his lover. How he wished he could gather him in his warm embrace. Though right now that would do Dean more harm than good.

 

“Hey, sweetheart, I brought you a present. I know you must be bored and lonely.” Castiel kissed Deans forehead and his troubled face smoothed out.

 

“Cas, what get me?”

 

“Can you open your eyes for a little while?”

 

“Yeah.” Dean peeped though half lids and saw Castiel had a kindle.

 

“They have talking books you can listen to at a reasonable volume. I know you don’t like anything loud, but it could alleviate the boredom.”

 

“Never thought, ‘mazing Cas.”

 

“You're most welcome. Now Missouri tells me you’ve not eaten much today. Will you eat the chicken I cooked?”

 

“Try, for you.” Dean grimaced moving his hand to the bedside rail.

 

“Good, I’ll sleep in here with you tonight. There’s a draft in my room; we need to insulate the window.”

 

Dean knew there was no such issue. Castiel wanted to look after him but did not want to be smothering. So, he allowed it for now.

 

Castiel patiently fed Dean and was pleased he got some food into him. Soon after his lover fell into an uneasy sleep, Castiel wished again he could take Deans pain away but being there for him helped, he was positive.

 

 

XxXxXx

 

 

Castiel sat up, the room was pitch black, something had woken him, but he was not sure what it was. Then a scream rang out from Dean, Castiel shot up from the cot scared out of his mind.

 

Castiel went and switched the light to dim so he would not hurt Deans eyes. Castiel saw his lover battling with the covers. His catheter had somehow come off and urine soaked everywhere.

 

“Dean, love its Cas, I’m here.” Castiel trembled, trying to calm the terrified man.

 

“Cas, where, don’t know, where….”

 

“Hush love, nothing can hurt you when I’m around. I won’t let it.” Castiel voice deepened like he could fight off Dean's nightmares at any moment.

 

Dean cried heart-wrenching sobs into his arm, clinging on for dear life. He feared to let go of Castiel, in case he'd vanish into thin air.

 

Castiel sniffed and wiped his eyes. “I need to get you changed love; you're drenched.” Getting the bath chair, he put Dean onto it, the man still groggy from sleep.

 

Castiel got Dean washed and dressed and placed him with a cover on the couch while he changed the bed and cleaned up. When he'd finished, he made them both a mug of hot chocolate.

 

“Thanks, Cas,”

 

“It's okay, love. If you can’t talk to me about them, maybe talk to your therapist?"

 

Dean nodded and winced at the action. “Come on let’s get you back to bed."

 

Castiel stroked Deans hair and sang Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. Dean was soon fast asleep, but it took Castiel a long time to settle into a deep slumber.


	20. Normal life, with you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Jess visit Cas and Dean and make amends. Dean can't have Thanksgiving without his baby sister so goes to the Roadhouse looking for her.

Dean was glancing through his cookbooks, thinking about Thanksgiving not overly sure where he would spend it this year. He would typically go to his mom and dads, but with everything that had happened, he honestly did not want to put himself and Castiel though any more hardship.

 

“We can invite Kali, Gabe, Missouri and Rufus, love.” Castiel smiled knowing Deans far off thoughts.

 

“I guess, but I will miss them Cas.”

 

“You will baby boy, their family. I miss my mom and dad at times like these. I need to pop up to the crematory, place some flowers.”

 

“I can accompany you if you want?” Dean looked up from his books, biting his lips nervously.

 

Castiel came over and tutted. “You will make yourself bleed. I would love for you to come with me.”

 

Castiel looked over at the list his boyfriend had been making. “Dean, I’m pretty sure we won’t need four pies.”

 

“Cassss,” Dean whined, looking up with and fluttering his eyelashes.

 

“No, baby boy that won’t work on me. One pie that’s all we will need.”

 

“But Cas please.” Begged Dean.

 

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Okay, two but that’s my final offer.”

 

Dean grinned and went back to writing on his pad. Castiel shook his head and smiled fondly at his pie loving boyfriend.

 

 

XxxXxxXxx

 

 

Castiel was out back doing some light gardening. The older man though if the garden looked nice, the house would sell. Dean checked all the cupboards to make sure he had the ingredients for his pies and the other items he would be cooking. There came a rapid fire of knocking on the front door, so Dean went to open it, only to find Sam and Jess stood there.

 

“I-I not sure that you should come in,” Dean told the pair who were holding hands.

 

“Please Dean, Sam’s been talking to a therapist. I think he’s ready to talk to you now.”

 

“Okay, come in.” Dean led the way into the living area and texted Cas, who would not hear him over his music.

 

“Dean, is it okay if we wait for Castiel?” Sam suggested looking around for the man.

 

Dean surprised at this suggestion nodded. “Yeah Sammy, he will be in soon."

 

“Love are you okay? I felt the buzz of your message.”

 

“Cas, we have visitors.”

 

“Oh, I see. Let me wash up, and I will be in soon.”

 

Castiel wondered in several minutes later and sat by Dean.

 

“Go on Sam.” Encouraged Jessica.

 

“Dean I've not treated you right or Castiel. First Castiel, I want to apologise for the way I ignored you. I wanted my brother to find someone, loving and caring, yet I was scared he would not want me anymore.”

 

Castiel sighed and rubbed his face. “Sam, I can never replace you in your brothers’ affections. We have different places in Deans' heart. You would always be welcome in our home. We only want respect, like we would respect you and Jessica.”

 

“Thank you; I can see your good for my brother. I’ve heard a lot of good things about how happy Dean is around you. It was stupid of me to feel remotely threatened by that.”

 

Dean groaned and held Castiel's hand tight grounding himself.

 

“Sammy, I love Cas, we’re moving in together when the house is complete. But you are my baby brother; I will always have space for you in my life.”

 

Sam nodded and wiped his eyes. “I’ve not been a great brother, not supported you. Not told you how proud I am of your achievements. You're a god damn hero, and I can’t even ask you how your weeks been. Dean, you have your life together better than I do, and I see you coping without me, and again I wonder if you had space in your life for me. I’m working on this with the therapist; it will take time.”

 

Jessica cleared her throat looking at the two men. “Dean, if I had any hand in, not showing you respect I’m truly sorry,” Jess told her friend. “And you Castiel welcome to the family though we have not met, I hope to get to know you better.”

 

“I would like that Jessica.” Castiel beamed, happy the way the conversation was heading.

 

“Would you come and spend Thanksgiving with us?” Dean asked, looked hopefully at the couple.

 

“We would love that thank you. Are mom, dad and Jo invited?” Sam questioned his hazel eyes searching his brothers-tired face; he felt ashamed he'd heaped more on to Deans shoulders.

 

“Mom stated she needed time, but yes if mom wants to come, she’s welcome. Jo needs to see us first though.”

 

“I agree, Jo said some hurtful things,” Castiel grumbled, but they already knew.

 

“We will leave you to it, and if you need us to bring anything holler.” Jess smiled as Dean held his lover's hand both lost in each other.

 

“We will Jess thank you,” Castiel whispered looking up.

 

Sam coughed. “We will let ourselves out, love you, big brother.”

 

Dean turned his head and grinned. “Love you to Bitch.”

 

Sam laughed. “Jerk.”

 

 

XxxxXxx

 

 

Sam, Jess, Bobby, Ellen, Missouri, Rufus, Castiel and Dean sat around the large table in the kitchen. Dean looked on with sadness in his heart at the one person who was missing, his little sister Jo. Gabriel and Kali were unable to attend because she was unwell, but the gaping hole that Jo left was pulling Deans mood down.

 

They had turkey, and the trimmings, Dean's pies sat cooling on the side. He had made four now he had more people coming. Dean got up and slipped out of the room, wheeling himself out to his car. Starting her up, the one place Jo would be, the Roadhouse, so he pointed Lady in that direction.

 

Castiel realised that Dean had taken off, Jo, was in the Roadhouse, for people who had no one at that time of year. Ellen was going to go in later after lunch ended.

 

Castiel had an idea, and he hoped the others would agree.

 

"Let’s take the food to the Roadhouse, if Jo, won’t come to us then we will go to her.” Castiel declared, eyes swivelled in his direction, and everyone nodded their agreement. Laugher and chatter broke out as they placed the food in pots and bags ready for the journey.

 

 

XxXxXxX

 

 

Dean wheeled himself into the Roadhouse only a handful of people were there. Jo looked up and saw her brother.

 

“I can’t have a holiday without you, baby sister,” Dean told her.

 

Jo rushed around and flung her arms around Dean, telling him she was sorry.

 

“Hey, now hush, we will sort it. Whatever’s going on in that furry brain of yours.”

 

“Hey,” Jo smacked Dean on the arm, and he grinned.

 

“Alone Dean, poor soul.” Sneered Lisa, who had let a blast of cold air into the room.

 

“I’m not alone Lisa,” Dean snorted.

 

“You know her?” Asked Jo, looking between them.

 

“I know of her, saw her at Yoga once. Sammy needed a lift.”

 

“It was a waste of my time that night, why anyone would want to date someone like you.”

 

“I would.” Growled a voice behind her.

 

Castiel moved in front of Jo and Dean. “Leave my brother alone you bitch and get out of my bar,” Jo shouted hiding behind Castiel’s back.

 

“Look here little girl; no one talks to me like that, who the hell do you think you are?”

 

“That would be my sister and my boyfriend you are talking to like dirt. I guess you’re the Lisa? I suggest you leave; I won’t ask again.” Castiel narrowed his stormy blue eyes folded his arms and looked like he meant business.

 

The others had arrived and were looked on at one angry Castiel protecting Jo and Dean.

 

“Hiding behind your family Dean, what are you five?” Lisa laughed high pitched, but a nervous edge to it.

 

“I may not be much, but I have my family to lean on.” Dean declared.

 

Castiel swung his head around, so fast Dean winced. “That’s five boy.”

 

“Whoops.” Dean did not dare say anything with his boyfriend in this mood.

 

“What did Cas mean Dean?” Dean looked at Jo grinning and shrugged.

 

“Oh, gross, but least someone’s taking good care of you.” The younger woman chuckled.

 

“How can you date that?” Lisa spat.

 

Castiel growled and moved slightly forward, Lisa moved back.

 

“All you see is the chair, but I see a wonderfully intelligent, kind-hearted man. Brave, courageous and hooked on pie. I will protect him with my life; because he gave mine back.”

 

Lisa huffed and walked out, everyone was glad to see the back of her.

 

Ellen clapped her hands. “Right food, let’s eat.”

 

Dean saw Ash start on his pie. “Cas, he’s eating my pie.”

 

“Ash, please don’t eat all the pie, or we will have tantrums.” Declared Castiel who rolled his eyes.

 

“No problemo boss man, welcome to the family by the way.”

 

Castiel laughed at the easy-going man and nodded.

 

“Dean, why are you thankful?” Missouri asked her friend.

 

“I’m thankful for my family and Cas. I can’t wait to move in and start a new life with him.”

 

Castiel smiled and kissed Deans hand and continued. “I’m thankful for my family but Dean, he saved me. The man pulled himself from hell, yet he pulled me with him. I’m named after an angel, but Dean gave me wings to fly. I can achieve anything by his side.” There were a few sniffs and aww’s.

 

Bobby put some music on, and Castiel got up offering his hand to Dean. They started to dance, smiles on their happy faces. Ellen lent her head on her husband’s shoulders.

 

“He did good, our boy.” She sniffed, and Bobby handed her a tissue.

 

“Sure did,”

 

The music played on, but Castiel and Dean only had eyes for each other, lost in their bubble of contentment and love.


	21. Best kept secrets.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets corrected for his actions. Dean gets Jo, Sam and Charlie to come up with ideas to ask Castiel to marry him.

On the way home Dean felt his boyfriend was still in a mood, so he drove back in silence. When the car stopped Castiel laid his hand on his muscular thigh.

 

Castiel grabbed Deans chin and whispered into his ear sending shivers down his spine.

 

“You will go into the bedroom and wait for me, do not deviate from my orders.” He growled and got out of the car in a flurry.

 

 _‘Well, shit.’_ Dean wheeled over to the house and locked the door's going straight to the bedroom.

 

Castiel came in with odds and ends. With no words Dean let his lover strip him, and though he felt the pure rage inside the man, he gently laid him on the bed. Castiel made sure Deans back, legs, and head got supported. He was running his slender fingers up and down his boyfriend’s spine.

 

“Dean, your colour please.”

 

Dean trembled under his doms hand. “I’m sorry I let you down sir, and now you have to punish me because I was bad,” Dean whispered.

 

Castiel grabbed Deans chin and tutted. “That’s five more baby, what did I tell you mmm?”

 

“I could n-never let you down and, and its correction not punishment.”

 

“I knew you understood, such a clever boy.” Castiel cooed. “You know why I need to correct you, don’t you Dean?”

 

“Yes sir, I need to think positive, not talk down about myself, and listen to you.”

 

“That's right, now relax baby, don’t anticipate my actions.”

 

When Castiel saw his boyfriend relax, he slapped his buttocks hard. Castiel knew he could not use all his force and was still concerned about doing this activity because of Dean’s condition. So, he kept an eye out for any issues.

 

Castiel brought his palm down, and the sound of hand hitting flesh filled the room.

 

"You look delicious with my handprint burnt on your skin baby boy.” Moaned Castiel, his cock leaking copious amounts of precum.

 

Castiel brought his hand down again right and left.

  

“Sir, more please,” Dean begged, grabbing onto his bed covers. At first, he worried it would hurt too much, but after the first smack, electricity shot down his spine, the pain-pleasure ratio was magnificent. Dean felt like he could fly. His cock trapped between the bed and his belly, rubbing on the bed sheets every time the slaps rained down on his ass.

 

“Baby, what colour?” Castiel breathed irrationally, his possessive side relishing the marks. 

 

“Green, so green.” Dean panted lost in sheer bliss.

 

 _'Slap, smack.'_ You’re so fucking beautiful baby boy.” Castiel growled.

 

Dean whimpered, his sexy, nerdy professor swearing, it was a real turn on for him.

 

Castiel finished off, smacking Deans red flaming ass cheeks, leaving no skin unmarked. “God Dean, please can I cum on you?”

 

“Yeah, please. Fucking do it.” Dean screamed, his back locked as he came.

 

Castiel rubbed his engorged cock and spilt warm cum over Dean’s enflamed backside.

 

“Shit Cas, that’s fucking hot.”

 

Castiel proceeded to smear the cum into Deans redden skin and hummed. “I love my mark on your ass baby boy, your mine Dean Winchester. Not Lisa’s, not those people in the bar who wanted you, but mine.” Castiel’s growl rumbled like thunder through the room.

 

“All yours, sweetie, I promise.”

 

Castiel wiped Dean down and helped turn him to his side. “Oh, you came I was going to help you.”

 

“No babe, it was too fucking hot, never cum like that in my life.”

 

“I need to rub some ointment on your skin. Then you need to sip this apple juice.”

 

“Is this the aftercare we read about?” Dean inquired, sated and happy.

 

“Yes, I don't want you to drop, so I need you to drink and pop some chocolate in your mouth. But baby boy you were so good taking your correction I think that deserves a reward.”

 

Dean looked pleased and proud he had done so well for his boyfriend. “Oh, can I have the last piece of pie and snuggle with you on the couch while we watch Star Trek?”

 

“Anything you want baby, now let’s get you cleaned up.”

 

Castiel made sure Dean was taken care of, then wrapped him up on the couch. They both ate the apple pie and watched the television, in each other’s arms. It was the perfect end to the perfect day.

 

 

XxxXxxxXx

 

 

Dean called his brother and sister to come around when his boyfriend was at work. He needed their advice and help on a delicate matter.

 

“Dean, what’s wrong?” Sam asked looking at his brother.

 

Dean placed an empty folder in front of Sam and Jo.

 

“I want to ask Cas to marry me but have no idea how. Charlie wants to help, but she can’t come over until later, and by then Cas will be home from work.”

 

“Mmm Dean, this is a hard one. You need something special something different.” Jo nodded lost in thoughtful contemplation.

 

“Yeah, gather ideas, I sent one of these to Charlie, together we can come up with something surely.”

 

“We can try. Have you found a ring yet?” Jo enquired.

 

“Nope, maybe we can go shopping?”

 

“I have a day off tomorrow we can go then,” Jo told her brother.

 

“You want to spend your day off with me?” Dean asked puzzled.

 

“Dean, you know I would. What time are you picking me up?”

 

Dean grinned. “Ten, then we can grab lunch.”

 

“Ten it is, we need to get off the beaten track, get something special for Cas.”

 

Sam snorted, and Jo narrowed her eyes. “What Samuel?”

 

“Nothing Jo.” Sam held up his hands, placating his sister.

 

“Cas and Jo get on well, now, since he did his heroic act and saved us.” Sniggered Dean.

 

“Yeah, well I was wrong.” Jo glared at them with her arms folded.

 

Sam gasped and held his chest dramatically. “Jo Harvelle admitting she’s wrong, the worlds going to end.”

 

Dean started to laugh, watching his two siblings.

 

“Shut the fuck up both of you,” Jo commented, throwing cushions at her brother’s head.

 

 

XxXxXxXx

 

 

Castiel was confused and worried; Dean had been acting strangely. They had an open-door policy on all aspects of their life. Dean had implemented it after a nasty argument and had shown him his bank balance, after that, all seemed well. Now Dean was hiding things from him and talking into his phone or texting in secret. Castiel had asked who he was talking to, but he told him it was a friend. Dean even put a lock on his phone.

 

The house not complete,  he had been on site more so than Dean. Christmas was coming rapidly, and he was anxious that his world was falling apart. Dean did not seem any less affectionate, but more jittery. So, he turned to the one person he could trust with this his brother.

 

Castiel went to visit them with the pretence that he had items for the baby. Well, he did, but he needed time away from his lover and to spill his heart out. Gabriel and Kali were not overly concerned but saw Castiel getting in a state. They told the older man that Dean would never cheat or leave him. It was Castiel’s two biggest fears, and Kali told him he needed to talk to Dean about it and his therapist.

 

Gabriel decided to ring Dean, to ask him if all was okay, and to put his brother's mind at rest.

 

“Dean-o how're things hanging.”

 

“Fine, Gabe, is Kali okay?”

 

“Yeah, she’s fed up, wants the baby to be here now.”

 

“I bet, your names mud in your house.” Dean laughed.

 

Gabe snorted. “Sure is, but I can’t wait.”

 

“I’m going to be the best uncle. Cas and I keep having bets.”

 

“Dean buddy, what’s going on with you and my baby bro?”

 

“Err nothing much at the moment, waiting for the house to be ready.”

 

“Mmm I had one weepy, depressed mess on my doorstep today, he came in his lunch hour.”

 

“What! I don’t get it?”

 

“Dean Castiel's nightmares, are of you leaving him, or cheating on him because you're fed up with him. I know you’re not that kind of person and my brother needs to talk to you about these deep-seated fears. I don’t understand why he’s feeling this from you.”

 

“Fuck, I’ve been secretive, I guess. Gabe, Sam, Jo, Charlie and I have been trying to come up with plans. I want to ask Cas to marry me. I wanted something special. I never knew he had noticed, guess not so stealthy after all.”

 

“No buddy, not so much. I have a day off tomorrow come around to us. Kali would love to see you, and we can have a brainstorm. But Dean put my brother out of his misery.”

 

“I will Gabe, see you tomorrow.”

 

Dean had work to do; he called Sam, who on his way to the hospital for the late shift picked up all the folders.  He deleted his conversations with his siblings and friends. By the time Castiel had come home no evidence was left.

 

XxXxXx

 

 

“Hey love,” Castiel kissed Dean on the cheek.

 

“I made burgers I know you love mine.” Dean grinned.

 

“Sure do. Thank you love.”

 

“Cas, you trust me, right?”

 

“What! Where did that come from baby? I trust you, Dean.”

 

“I got a call from Gabe he was worried about you.” Dean looked over at his boyfriend, who blushed crimson.

 

“Oh, that.”

 

“Cas, you fear me leaving or with someone else, I would never do that to you. I love you, but I don’t know how to convince you of that.”

 

Castiel’s sighed. “After Meg, I started drinking. I never told you, though I was listening to that day Kali let it slip. I was ashamed how I coped. It never got serious I stopped one day and never touched a drop again. I met this guy called Frank; he was charming, sweet, I thought he accepted me. He left me for another, and I never noticed, said he loved me but how could he? Told, me I was stupid and how could anyone love a person like me? I tried dating again, but it never got very far, then I met you.”

 

“Sweetie, I’m sorry that happened, they don’t deserve an amazing person like you. Do you think for one moment I would be moving in with you if I did not want you? Cas if you don’t trust me completely, I can’t see this working. It's like how I must trust you when you dominate; I have faith in you. I only wish you had it in me.”

 

“I do sweetheart; I love you with every atom of my being, you saved me, Dean. You were secretive, and I worried and…” Castiel fiddled with his tie and would not face green eyes.

  

“Can you trust that its nothing horrid and the reason I have been secretive is something amazing. Trust me Cas, please.” Dean begged of his boyfriend.

 

Castiel’s blue eyes were watery. “I will baby boy. I love you so much.”

 

“I love you, now eat up, I made pie.”

 

Castiel sniffed and rubbed his eyes and grinned. “I don’t think there’s a day that goes by when we don’t have pie sweetheart.”

 

Dean stuck his tongue out, and Castiel laughed.


	22. Fast delivery.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kali goes into labour and Gabriel needs help. Castiel comes to Deans rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if this needs a warning if you think it does let me know and I will put one. xx

 

“So, I had a word with my friend at Tanner Square, and you can meet Cas there. They will switch the tree lights on, and you can ask him then.” Gabriel told the room at large.

 

“I asked Rufus to get his horse and trap out, and he can give you a romantic ride after,” Missouri said sweetly.

 

“Your Cas always had a fascination with Christmas Trees than Gabe?” Jessica inquired wanting to know more.

 

Gabriel grinned and nodded. “Oh yeah, one year we could not find him. Mom had told him off he was about four I recall. Ran all the way to Tanner Square and hid in the tree. We were all scared, but there was Cas his blanket and toy teddy snuggled in the damn tree. Told us he was waiting for Santa to come and take him back to the North Pole. Mom was just glad to get him back.”

 

“Cas keeps bugging me to get a real tree, told him yes. Jumped with joy and ran off to get the decorations, I don’t have any.”

 

Dean chuckled fondly at the memory of his lover's happy face when he told him he could have a real tree.

 

“My brother would love that job; he will go overboard so watch it Dean-o.” Gabriel laughed.

 

“Long as he’s happy what do I care.” Dean shrugged.

 

“You all set for your big day then sugar?” Missouri asked Dean.

 

“Yep, have my suit, the rings and everyone in the know.”

 

“Good, you just need your young man then.”

 

“I do.” Dean agreed.

 

 

XxXxXxX

 

 

“Dean don’t forget I have double lecture’s today, so I’ll be home late.” Castiel reminded his lover.

 

“I remembered sweetie, make sure you eat,” Dean grumbled knowing his absentminded boyfriend always forgot lunch.

 

“I have the food you packed so that I won’t forget. Least I finish for Christmas break today, most of the college have gone home, we’re doing work with those who need extra help.”

 

“Good, you can bake with me tomorrow.”

 

Castiel kissed Dean on the forehead. “I can’t wait, love, see you later.”

 

Dean only had to bake desserts as they were going to his mom and dads for Christmas day. He wanted to make a gingerbread house and cookies, so he made a list and went next door to see if Missouri needed anything, but she was out. Dean drove to the store and did some shopping picking up presents for his friends. Stopping for a bite to eat he got back to the car when his phone started ringing. Gabriel’s name flashed across the screen, and he grinned.

 

“Hey Gabe, how're things?”

 

“Dean, Its God…” Gabriel was upset and crying.

 

Dean alerted to his usually jovial friend’s despondent spirit, and his heart sank, knowing it was regarding Kali and the baby.

 

“Gabe tell me what’s going on?”

 

“Kali the baby, they rushed her into the theatre. I need my family.” The older man sobbed.

 

“I’ll call Sam; he’s closer to you. Gabe, I’m right near the college I will grab Cas on my way to the hospital.”

 

“Thanks, Dean, hurry please, I can’t lose them.” Gabriel whimpered in a begging tone

 

“You won’t Gabe, we will be there soon, I promise.”

 

Dean scrolled down and rang his brother on the emergency number he held.

 

“Dean, what’s wrong?” Came Sam’s concerned tone.

 

“Sam, its Gabe, Kali’s been rushed to theatre and your closer. I’m going to pick up Cas then we’re heading your way.”

 

“Shit, of course, drive safe okay, we don’t need you ending up in the E.R.”

 

“I will baby bro and thanks for this.”

 

Dean dropped the phone by his side it was no use ringing Cas, he never had his phone on in lectures. Dean was unsure if the office was open, so not heeding his brothers warning put his foot to the gas pedal and drove as fast as he could.

 

Dean wheeled himself up the ramp, grabbed the elevator, up towards the humanity’s office.

 

“Becky thank God you’re here I thought you would have finished for Christmas.” Dean panted, out of breath.

 

“Whatever is the matter, Dean? You look worn out.” Becky gasped at the sorry state of the man who had come through the office door.

 

Dean tried to keep the tears at bay and sniffed. “Emergency, need Cas.”

 

“Come with me, he hates being disturbed, but this is an exception to the rule."

 

Dean wheeled himself behind Becky. His arms aching he usually would go slow, but he had pushed himself.

 

“Stay here, let me go in. If you rush in looking like that Castiel will have a stroke.”

 

Dean snorted and nodded knowing his boyfriend to well.

 

“Hey, you been sent out like a bad boy?” A seductive voice came from behind him.

 

Dean turned and saw a twink for better words, skinny jeans, tight white tee-shirt, and a scarf thrown unceremoniously around his pretty pale neck.

 

“I don’t go here, so no.” Dean, rolled his eyes, not interested.

 

“Oh, baby, you’re so pretty, be even better in my bed.” The boy strode forward overconfident. Dean supposed everyone dropped pants for him with his sparkling blue eyes, but Dean found it obnoxious.

 

“You get laid with that attitude?” Dean grunted sardonically, his family needed him, and this child was starting to piss him off.

 

Then the boy got into Deans personal space, putting his hands-on Deans armrests and spoke slowly to him.

 

“I think you know what you want, and it's me.” The boy cooed, “I won’t give you a choice to back away, no one ever does.”

 

“I suggest Oscar, you take your hands off my boyfriend, and get out of his personal space.” Growled Castiel, anger flashing in his stormy blue eyes.

 

Oscar snorted. “He doesn’t belong to you professor.”

 

Suddenly Oscar was pinned up against the wall. “Now you see Dean is mine, but you took his ability to move, taking his legs away. Blatant disrespect for others with disabilities. If I ever hear of you doing anything like this again your out boy. I’m writing you up a warning.”

 

“You have no right to maltreat me like that.” Sneered Oscar trying to find his cool composure in the face of the furious man in front of him but failing miserably. “I’m pressing charges.”

 

Dean wheeled around Castiel.” All I saw was the professor protecting a disabled person. He also stopped me from being sexually harassed. So, go ahead, but I’ll make a counterclaim.” Deans eyes narrowed he tried to stand, but Castiel put a firm hand on his shoulder.

 

“No, no need for that guys. Won't happen again.”

 

“Oh, it won’t Oscar Lateen. I will make sure it goes in your notes. I also witness this when the poor professor as a family emergency. Now over the Christmas holidays, you better think about your actions, and these two gentlemen need a full apology.” Becky scolded the student sternly.

 

Oscar nodded and ran away, leaving a cloying waft of aftershave behind him.

 

“I’m s-sorry love I-I went over your head and… I-I thought something was wrong.” Castiel stumbled on his words thinking Dean would be cross with him.

 

“Hey Cas, it’s okay we need to get to the hospital.” Dean shook, and he was tired, but he needed to keep going.

 

“What is it, love?”

 

“Kali the baby, Gabe needs us.” Dean whimpered wishing it was not true.

 

“I’ll drive, we changed the controls over. My car will be safe here.” Castiel turned to his secretary and friend. “Rebecca, could you dismiss my class? I have left sheets of work that they need to read over the holidays. I need to go.”

 

“I will sort everything out Castiel, go see to your family.”

 

Castiel, shaken himself took control, seeing how Oscar had affected Dean. He knew something must be wrong with Kali and the baby for his boyfriend to come and get him from his lessons.

 

Castiel drove them to the hospital. Dean got a text from Jess that she would wait for them in the main lobby.

 

Castiel wheeled Dean into the hospital; he was too exhausted to do it himself.

 

“What’s going on Jessica?” Castiel asked her, on arriving at the lobby.

 

Jessica only had eyes for Dean though. “Dean, what on earth is the matter?”

 

Castiel shook his head. “Not now love, tell me please.”

 

Jessica looked on with concern in her pale blue eyes and nodded. “Baby’s heart was erratic, and Kali’s temperature jumped to over a hundred and four. She was losing consciousness so needed an emergency caesarean. The baby was born fine but needs NICU for a little while. Kali is sleeping it off, out of danger.”

 

“Thank God,” Sighed Castiel, rubbing at his tired face. “I need to see my brother.”

 

“Sam’s with him, Gabe’s a little calmer, but yes it would help.”

 

They all went up to maternity. Castiel rushed into the arms of his big brother and shed a few tears. Dean held back, not sure how to act. Gabriel showed them a picture of the baby a little girl, not named yet until the new momma could see her.

 

“Oh, Gabe she’s beautiful, just like her momma.” Dean smiled at his new niece.

 

“We have to get go,” Sam announced sadly not wanting to go back to work.

 

“Thank you, Sam, for everything, and you Dean your quick thinking helped.” Gabriel gushed, red in the face honey eyes shining, from unshed tears.

 

“It’s what family does Gabe,” Dean told his friend, his lip wobbled slightly then he started crying and could not stop. Everything that happened back at the college, the baby and Kali were too much to handle. His arms hurt, his head pained him, it was too overwhelming.

 

“Damn it.” Cursed Castiel who knelt by his boyfriend and scooped him up into his arms.

 

“What’s going on?” Jess demanded arms on hips. “Why’s Dean in this state Cas? I know he’s upset about Kali and the baby, but something else is bothering him.”

 

Castiel nodded and sighed. “When I came out of the lecture one of our students had cornered him. I’m not sure how far that went. The boy stood over Dean effectively taking his legs away and his ability to escape. From what I heard, the conversation was sexually explicit.”

 

Sam slunk over to his upset brother. “What the fuck! You better do something about this Cas? That behaviour is unacceptable, in any circumstance.”

 

“Don’t worry Sam I will. Though all I can do is email the head of the department with it being Christmas. Becky Rosen witnessed it, and we also have cameras that monitor the hallways. I may have slammed the prick into a wall. I may be in trouble myself, but I don’t care."

 

“Good for you Cas.” Gabriel stated, “I will represent you and Dean if it comes to it.”

 

“Thanks, Gabe, sorry to pile this on you.”

 

“Take him home Cassie; Kali won't wake yet. The baby’s sleeping. In fact, can you get the bags we prepared I never got the chance? They got a cot ready for me I need to sleep. I won’t be getting much from now on.” Gabriel chuckled lightly, running fingers through his tousled hair.

 

“Sorry Gabe, we can stay." Dean sniffed in a thin voice.

 

“I want you to go home eat and sleep. Be fresh and come back tomorrow, okay?” Gabriel told Dean and Castiel sternly.

 

“Sure, Gabe we can do that. Call though if you need us?” Dean told his friend.

 

“I will do, don’t you worry about that.”

 

They all said goodbye and Castiel held Deans hand on the way home.

 

“Dean, did Oscar, you know…?” Castiel made a motion with his hand, to suggest groping.

 

“Words Cas and it scared me. He was a fucking twink. I think with Kali and the baby I let it get to me.”

 

Castiel heaved a sigh of relief. “Ok sweetheart. Let’s get food, snuggled on the couch and then bed. Tomorrow we can pick up Gabe and Kali’s items for the hospital.”

 

“Cas, I love you thank you for always being there for me.”

 

“I love you, Dean, always.”


	23. Bread Crumbs.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean sets tasks for Cas and he follows but what will he find at the end?

Castiel and Dean's time was spent cooking and visiting the hospital. Baby Collins was going from strength to stretch.  Kali was awake, in pain but feeling much better. Castiel did wonder why they had not chosen a name, but it was not his baby, though he was impatient to find out.

 

“Cas you can’t rush these things, babe, the kid gets stuck with it for life,” Dean tried to stop his boyfriends adorable winging. “Now, you need to go take Harry and his Crew the pies I made, they finish today, and I need to go see mom. Don’t you dare pout baby, this is about your present.”

 

“Dean,” Cas whined, “I want to come with you?”

 

Dean raised his eyebrow. “You trust me with all those delicious. pies Cas?”

 

“No, I guess I better take them. If I don’t, the crew won’t get any.” Castiel winked at his boyfriend.

 

“Meanie. I’ll see you soon baby. I put pork in the crockpot. Can you pick some rolls up? Don’t have time to make any.”

 

Castiel came over and bent down to kiss Dean moaning into the kiss and pressing his lip's open and tracing fingers through his boyfriend fine brown hair.

 

Dean moaned and slapped Castiel’s arm slightly. “Hey, none of that Mr, no sexy distractions.”

 

“You’re no fun,” Groaned the older man.

 

“Yeah so everyone keeps telling me.” Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed his bag of presents he needed to take to his mom's house.

 

Castiel stopped, and he careful stroked over the constellations of freckles that scattered over his boyfriend's cheeks.

 

“Dean, no one has any right, to take your legs, or to come on to you. Be it male or female. Even I have no right to ask anything of you, or the other way around. Don’t however bottle this up; it can lead you down a very dark path baby boy.”

 

“How do you know me so well? You can’t understand the world. I love you so frikking much Castiel Jacob Collins.”

 

“As I love you, and maybe like you told me, we were destined to be together, that night we met in the Roadhouse.”

 

Dean’s green eyes light up. “Oh, your amazing baby, I love you so damn much.” Dean wheeled himself out, and Castiel was taken back, confused rushed after his lover.

 

“Dean baby are you okay?”

 

“I’m on top of the world baby. Don’t forget the rolls see you soon.”

 

Castiel shook his head as he saw Dean drive away. Missouri came to stand by him. “I’ll miss you both when you leave.”

 

“You’re our family; you will always be welcome in our home Miss.” Castiel placed his head on her shoulder as she hugged him.

 

“I just want them grandbabies.”

 

Castiel laughed, it tumbled through him until he was crying. “And here I thought it was my winning personality and Deans cooking.”

 

Missouri beamed and peaked Castiel on the cheek. “I’m so glad my boy found you Castiel.”

 

“I’m glad I found him too.”

 

They both walked back talking about Christmas and what they were doing. Castiel was forgetting the pies for the moment wondering what had got into his Dean but felt warm and satisfied that he made his man feel happy.

 

 

XxXxXxX

 

 

Dean whizzed into the milling lunchtime crowd of the Roadhouse.

 

“Mom, Momma where the hell have you gone?” Proclaimed Dean, trying to get his voice heard over the hubbub.

 

“Oh, hey, you must be Dean?”

 

A tall brown-haired man hung over Dean stepping to the side and held his hand out. Dean shook it but was slightly puzzled never seeing the man before.

 

“I was in the bar, at Thanksgiving, your boyfriend put Lisa in her place, good man that one. I was meeting her that day, so kudos for getting me off the hook.”

 

Dean laughed. “Welcome dude.”

 

Another man sauntered over to them, glass in hand. “Arron this is Dean, you know from Thanksgiving.”

 

“Oh, hi Dean, I owe you and your boyfriend a truck tone of gratitude. Mike here would have met up with Lisa, but he saw the mess she was. Your other half’s hot as fuck when he’s all avenging angel, by the way.”

 

“Hay,” Mike protested kissing Arron on the cheek.

 

“Truth love. Anyway, we started talking and kinda hit it off. Never been apart since. It was like fate, so thank you.”

 

“That’s how Cas and I met. Was on a blind date, not each other’s, I may add. Glad you found each other.”

 

“Who were you calling for when you came in Dean? Are you looking for someone?” Mike asked Dean.

 

“Yeah my mom, she should be behind the bar.”

 

“Short, brown hair, looks like she could put led in your ass if you act out.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Yep, that’s my momma.”

 

“Hang on let me grab her attention; if that’s okay with you?” Mike looked down for Deans consent.

 

“Yeah, thanks dude busy in here today.”

 

“Your welcome.” Mike walked off to try and find Deans, mom.

 

“Wow never had someone apart from Cas, and the family that made me feel like a real person.”

 

“You’re a person, Dean.” Arron speculated, thoughtful. “It’s the rest of them out there with the issues, can’t see the problem myself.”

 

Dean bit his lip and knew Cas would scold him for it if he were around. “I know we've only just met but if you want to meet up for a double date leave your number with mom. Don’t decide now, won’t be offended if not.”

 

Arron gave Dean his phone. “I like that idea dude, put your number in.”

 

Dean put his number in and raised his eyebrow. “Go on Arron ask the question, know your dying to.”

 

“Is Cas all grr you know in your everyday life or is it only the bedroom?" Arron's eyes did not meet Deans, and he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

 

“I’m guessing it’s something Mike does not know? Yes, I’m Castiel’s sub, all the time, if that’s what you’re asking.”

 

“I see, is it okay if I ask you questions? Would Cas be okay in talking to Mike?”

 

“We have a very open relationship, so yes I have no issues with that. I can’t speak for Cas, but I can’t see him saying no. Talk to Mike. Arron, the more open you are, the better for your relationship. Cas knows everything, about me. That’s why I’m here I want to ask him to marry me. So, it’s not been easy, keeping this secret from him.”

 

“Oh, wow I hope that goes well for you. Cas will say yes, I saw the way he looked at you.” Arron grinned at Dean.

 

Mike came back towards Arron and Dean. “Your mom says to go around the back. We will walk with you, never know who’s about.”

 

Arron chuckled, and Dean winked at him.

 

“What did I do now?” Whined Mike who was looking between Dean and his partner.

 

“Nothing love just being you that’s all, never stop.”

 

Dean said goodbye to Arron and Mike and went to see his mom.

 

 

XxXxXxXx

 

 

“Hey love, you needed to see me?” Ellen asked kissing Dean on the cheek.

 

“Yes, mom, have we time to talk, you’re not too busy?”

 

“No, Lara, Ash, Jo, and Kari have everything sorted. What do you need, that’s so urgent?”

 

“The plan for asking Cas to marry me it’s all wrong. I realised it today after Cas spoke about meeting him in the Roadhouse. That night was fate, mom.”

 

“How do you mean sweetie?” Ellen threw a damp dish towel on the sideboard and sat down, glad to be off her feet.

 

“Castiel’s car is a Lincoln. Though it was old, he kept it in good condition, had only had a service the month before we met. When dad towed it back to the garage, there was nothing wrong with it."

 

Ellen looked puzzled. “So, you're saying the car broke down for no reason we know of…”

 

Dean nodded his head. “If the car were working, he would have walked in on Lisa and missed meeting me. More than likely seen his date was not there and walked back out again. I met two men just now. One of them had a date with Lisa but saw how she treated me and found his true love.”

 

“Maybe we should get Lisa in more often that woman seems to bring couples together” Ellen laughed.

 

 Dean huffed in frustration; he wished his mom would get it.

 

“No, mom it was fate, we clicked. Cas knows me better than I do most of the time. How can he when he struggles with communication. We work mom; I love him so much.”

 

“Then let me shut down the Roadhouse, baby. Jo and I will decorate, you lead him here like a bread crumb trail.”

 

“I can do that momma, thanks I love you.”

 

Ellen came over to Dean and held him. “My baby boy has grown up. Mary and John would be so proud Dean, like dad and me. Now you get going before Cas wonders where you are, send my love.”

 

“Will do mom.”

 

 

XxXxXxXx

 

 

Castiel, slightly perturbed, that his Dean had been quiet since Oscar and Kali. That night Dean wanted to spend the night apart in different rooms. Waking up the next morning Castiel switched the coffee pot on and saw Dean was not in his bed.

 

‘ _What!’_ “Dean where are you love?” Castiel looked everywhere. When he could not find his lover, he looked out of the window, and Lady was missing.”

 

There was a knock on the door and Missouri stood there in her dressing gown and slippers.

 

“Let me in boy its cold out there.”

 

“What’s going on Missouri, where’s Dean?”

 

Missouri placed a hand on Castiel's cheek and looked into anxious sky-blue eyes.

 

“You trust us, his family to look after him?”

 

Castiel nodded. “I want you to eat, shower and get dressed into something smart. Then we’re heading to the hospital.”

 

“W-we are?” Castiel stuttered in surprise.

 

Missouri nodded and bustled around the kitchen. “Sit, have your morning coffee, Dean always said you could not function without it.”

 

Castiel grunted and sat down, feeling off-kilter saying nothing. Hoping everything was okay but trusting his family.

 

 

xxxxxxxxx

 

 

It was eleven by the time Castiel got to the hospital. Missouri was making sure he dressed correctly. Walking into Kali’s room, Castiel got greeted with a fantastic sight. The baby was sat snug in her mom’s arms sleeping.

 

Kali looked, but she also glowed. “You want to hold her Uncle Cas?”

 

Castiel nodded tears pricked his eyes. “She’s got equal parts of you and Gabe in her,” Castiel told his sister in law. Looking down at the baby, sleeping soundly he whispers to her.

 

“Hi baby, I’m your Uncle Cas, I’m going to teach you so much. Though Uncle Dean will teach you pie.”

 

Gabriel sat holding his wife, the smile never slipping off his face. “We have a name for her Cassie, the two people that’s been there for her, throughout this rough journey.

 

“What did you name her Gabe?”

 

“Cassidy Deanna Collins.”

 

Blue eyes blinked back and looked down at the baby. “That’s such an honor. Thank you. Does Dean know?”

 

“Well you see, lay Cass on the bed, she’s got a little gift for you on her sleepsuit,” Kali explained.

 

Castiel lay the sleeping baby, down gently so not to disturb her slumber, he saw tucked in her sleep suit a letter. How he had missed it, he had no clue. Not wanting to give the precious girl up yet, he passed her back to her mom, curiosity won out he needed to know what was in the letter.

 

The letter was azure not unlike the colour of his eyes, his name written out in a black curled script. Pulling out a thin sheet of paper he read the note.

 

 

**_Follow, the notes, your journey is long, but it will be worth your time. Put the baby down Cas, though she’s damn cute I know. Do, you want to leap in faith? Then follow me, to the next clue. This place made me cry, but you were there in a tiny blink. She sits at a desk, though its closing time, find her babe, you don’t have much time.”_ **

 

 

“What, this is from Dean? Do you know what’s going on guys?”

 

Gabriel laughed and nodded. “Follow the clues Cas, no cheating, and I promise it will be worth it.”

 

“I-I need to get to the college.”

 

“Missouri is your chaperone. I need to stay here but Goodluck little bro.”

 

“I send my love Castiel, so does Cassidy.” Kali beamed, looking down at the baby.

 

Castiel hugged Kali and baby Cassidy and walked off towards the entrance where Missouri was waiting.

 

“So, boy you ready?”

 

“I am, we need to get to the college. I assumed it closed for Christmas.”

 

Missouri smiled and corralled Castiel into the car. “The magic of Christmas Castiel, have faith.”

 

“Dean said I should have faith; I do in him, so let’s go.”

 

They arrived at the college, the sky laden with snow. Castiel wrapped his trusty trench coat around him to keep the chill at bay, as he rushed toward the Humanity’s department.

 

“Rebecca are you there?” Castiel slowly opened the door of the office. And he was assaulted with twinkling lights, a pretty gingham table cloth with a variety of food laid on the table.

 

“Castiel, welcome, sit and eat, oh and you can’t have your next clue unless you do.” Becky giggle, looking at the puzzled man.

 

“Rebecca, don’t you have a family to get home to?” Castiel asked his eyes landing on the young woman sadly.

 

“No, but Dean invited me to his moms, my family passed away. It's me and my cat noodle.”

 

“Well come and help me enjoy this feast. Let me call down to my friend sitting in that cold car. I can’t have that.”

 

In the end, Missouri, Becky, and Castiel had a pleasant lunch, laughing, reminiscing, and connecting.

 

“Here you are Castiel, the next note.” Giggled Becky, munching on a breadstick.

 

Castiel held the flame red envelope gingerly and breathed in. “I can do this.”

 

“Yes, you can. It won’t bite you boy open it.” Missouri tutted.

 

 

**_You forget to eat most days, but I have spy’s now Cas so watch out. The next clue, you need to picture red flames, and talent, and capture your picture in a frame. It makes you think about the past, but I only want you in the future.”_ **

 

 

“So, what is this one about?” Becky asked wanting to know.

 

“Get your coats, girls; we will clear this up. We need to see my sisters’ paintings."

 

Becky clapped and sung, in her high-pitched voice. “Road trip.”

 

They cleared up the trash and put the lights out. Locking up the doors and rushing out in the bitter cold of the day. Castiel directed Missouri to the gallery where Anna and Deans pictures had been previously. They all clambered out and walked the short distance. The gallery stated it was closed, so Castiel knocked on the door. A woman smiled and waved at them and unlocked the door.

 

“Hello, Castiel and his friends, I’m a friend of Annas, Kenya. I have a surprise for you. Someone wanted you to have a special Christmas present, so I got digging, come this way.”

 

Castiel recognised the young woman, with purple hair and black fingernails. Though he did not move with Annas crowd, they were always friendly towards him.

 

There were two easels’ in the middle of the floor; both covered with white sheets.

 

“First this one I found it hard to get but Dean was insistent, he had been searching for records, and we found it. The person who had it was an old relative Castiel. They stated they did not want it and that it should go to his rightful owner." Kenya declared.

 

Castiel was shaking, and Becky and Missouri moved closer for support.

 

Kenya pulled the cover off, and Castiel gasped, his hand flying to his mouth in shock. “Dean found this? I forgot she even did our self-portrait.”

 

Castiel cried tears of sadness and happiness intermingled. There were the three Collins children. Castiel, Gabriel, and Anna looking like they had no care in the world, captured perfectly in their innocence, by Anna's talent.

 

“I’m not sure I want to look underneath the next one.” Castiel sniffed, Missouri handing him a tissue.

 

“Be brave love like our Dean.” Castiel nodded and pulled the sheet off.

 

“What! Dean took these?” Castiel looked over the photos they were Deans style alright. The places he had been and talked of, some fond others not so much. There was one picture that caught Castiel's eye, one of Dean stood up, looking carefree before he became disabled.

 

“My boy so beautiful baring his soul to us.” Missouri cried, dabbing her eyes.

 

“Castiel this is an amazing gift Deans given you,” Becky stated affected with emotions.

 

“Deans amazingly talented.” Kenya pointed out, “An amazing man, you're fortunate to have him Castiel. I will look after the pictures. Oh, and he wanted me to give you this.” Kenya gave Castiel a black envelope.

 

Castiel swiftly opened it and read the note.

 

 

**_I feel the depth of darkness; it surrounds me here. Though you brought light back into my world, we make mistakes, but I run in your direction no other place I want to be. Find you're next note here Cas like you find my very soul. Raise me and hold me tight don’t let me drop back to hell._ **

 

 

Castiel closed his eyes and breathed deeply. “We need to go to Maison Park, West entrance. You girls stay in the car though. Is a journey I need to take myself.”

 

“Okay Castiel, let’s go.” Missouri nodded. They said goodbye to Kenya and went on their way.

 

Castiel walked the yellow path, it was freezing and few lazy flurries of snow, drifted down from the treacherous sky. The skeletal fingers, of the tree, bared its soul for him. Shadows of grief and loss seeped out of the ground, and Castiel stood there in the mud and found the next envelope, which was a bright shiny yellow, a stark contrast to the emotive feelings that this tree had conjured.

 

Castiel took one more look at the tree, and ran away from it, not liking the foreboding feeling it gave him. Shivering he jumped back into the warm car.

 

“I got the next one; I ran all the way back, so need to read it.”

 

“You look frozen Castiel.” Commented Becky.

 

“It’s trying to snow; I hope it holds out until the end of this test, where ever Deans leading me to.”

 

Missouri looked up, and her brown eyes twinkled with mischief. “I have a feeling it will.”

 

 

**_A new chapter, getting ready to begin, together. The new and the old, dusted and clean, moving and timeless. Go and seek, the built-up walls, made strong like us, standing firm, not shaken by tremors — my ray of sunshine, my hope my dream._ **

 

 

“We need to head to the building site, the new house, well my old home.”

 

Castiel once again gave directions. They pulled up in the road the builders taking up the drive. All three of them got out.

 

“They have done a great job so far, Castiel,” Missouri told her friend.

 

“Yes, three or four more months. Then we can get decorating.”

 

“I can’t wait for that love.” Missouri chuckled feeling pleased she would have a hand in this new house her boys were going to live.

 

“This is amazing Castiel you both living together. Oh, look on the gate, a wreath, and a brown envelope.” Becky squealed in delight.

 

 

**_Bring this home for me put on the door but feel welcome this time. You are family Castiel, have no doubts that you belong. Come on in babe, from the cold, but please don’t stay too long._ **

 

 

“Ellen and Bobby’s next, where on earth is, Dean, taking me?”

 

“I think he’s taking you to all the places that mean something to you and him. I may be wrong what do you think sugar?”

 

“I’m not sure, let's get this one done first, not the best memories for us?” Castiel declared.

 

“Maybe he wanted to make new ones Castiel.” Becky chirped.

 

“I think you’re onto something Miss Rosen.” Missouri laughed out loud her eyes sparkling. 

 

This time the older woman knew the way, the sky grew darker, and the Christmas lights came on, lighting the world with there, ever-present glow, of hope and forgiveness. All three rushed out of the car, and Castiel carried the wreath with him. He knocked on the door to find Jessica waiting in her hat and scarf.

 

“Cas, Missouri... oh and I have no clue who you are, but come in.”

 

“My named Becky I work with Castiel.”

 

“Nice to meet you I’m Jessica."

 

“Nice to meet you too.” Becky smiled.

 

“So, I know you did not have a great time here, but let’s change that. Dean left this box Cas so can you pick it up and we will be on our way.”

 

“Jessica where is everyone?” Castiel asked his interest peeked.

 

“I can’t tell you. Cas, get the box we have to go.”

 

Castiel picked up a brightly decorated box; it was blue and green with a red bow on it. Jessica and Becky climbed in the back of Missouri’s Car, and Castiel got in the front.

 

“Jess do you know where we need to be next?” Castiel frowned.

 

“Oh, yes silly me I forgot.” Jessica handed him a white envelope.

 

 

**_I heard the tail of your great escape, all cute and small. Delightfully lit, tall and robust, branches and new life to make. Your past is a chapter of your book but don't keep looking back. Hold my hand, and dance with me underneath the…._ **

 

 

Castiel eyes danced with glee. “The giant Christmas tree in Tanner Square Missouri, Deans, hidden the next clue there.

 

They parked close and jumped out. The ice rink was open, and they heard joyful cries. They smelt mulled wine and hot chocolate, hot dogs and doughnuts. Castiel saw people dancing near the tree, some in wheelchairs. All four watched mesmerised by the fast dances and their glittery costumes. When the dancing was over, they all clapped warmly.

 

"Cas open the box." Whispered Jessica who had brought it with her.

 

Castiel opened the box and inside was a large decoration. It was of two men kissing; he placed it on the tree. The lights on the tree started to light up, and everyone around him gasped and clapped.

 

"Wow that's amazing," Jess gasped standing next to Castiel.

 

"Dean, did this for me?" Castiel, could not believe it.

 

“Hey, there are you Castiel?” One of the dances asked. Castiel looked down and nodded. “I spoke to Dean, he’s a great guy, you should bring him down for classes.”

 

“I will do, it looks fun.” Castiel grinned at the man in the chair.

 

“Sure, is dude, gives you a great workout. Oh, Dean gave me this to give you. The names Ray, tell them I sent you if you sign up.”

 

“I will do Ray thank you," Castiel noted the dance class name and could not wait to talk to his Dean about it. Looking down at the gold envelope he opened it.

 

 

**_Not long now love, have you got the clues? Have you thought about the path, you're on?  Dad looked but could he find the problem Cas, come along, and you will find the key to the next clue._ **

 

 

“Huh,” Castiel scratched his head.

 

“Problem Cas?” Jessica asked looking at her friend.

 

“Dean, says Bobby could not find the problem and then I have to go there.”

 

“Can you think of a place Cas that you needed to see Deans dad?”

 

“I guess we're going to Singer Autos. Ugh, I have brain ache.”

 

They drove in silence Castiel trying to rack his brain, what did all the clues mean put together. He jumped out the car when they arrived at the building. It was closed and lit by the security lights. On the door was a note and he grabbed it and jumped back into the car. The envelope was pink and glittery this time.

 

 

**_This person came into your life when I was fast asleep. Scrutinise your TV tastes and past her test with eight. You need to go in alone and remember our first date. You brought me lunch and spoilt me, and I may have fallen in love. The best pie I have ever had, don’t tell mom she will kill me._**

 

 

Castiel laughed out loud. “I need to go to Charlie's shop, and you guys in the back need to move. Also, I need to go in by myself.”

 

“Sure, go do that,” Jessica said a little too sweetly for Castiel’s taste. They were all up to something he was sure.

 

Castiel knocked on the door, and Charlie let him in. “Come sit down; we can’t move until I’ve received the bat signal.” Charlie grinned.

 

“What’s all this about the different colour envelopes the notes, the places?” Castiel probed his new friend.

 

“Dean sent you to me to do a recap. He was worried you would get muddled and distracted.”

 

“That’s my Dean always thinking about me and my issues. I miss him, Charlie, I never even got my morning kiss.”

 

“You two are the best love story ever written. Everyone has their problems I get that, but you guys must climb mountains every day to get out of bed, to face the world. You do it, with love, kindness, and joy that not many people have. Your love for each other is a blessing to others around you. It should make people think if you can then we can. I’m proud to count you both as my friends.”

 

Castiel fiddled with his fingers. “You’re going to make me cry red, stop.”

 

“Can I give you a huge hug, big guy?”

 

Castiel nodded, and Charlie hugged him back. “Now let’s recap okay. First colour and clue?”

 

“ First is Blue like my eyes and we had to go to the college. Dean had a bad experience there, but he still wanted to look after me."

 

“Second colour and clue sweetie?”

 

Castiel sat up getting his thoughts straightened out. Red like Annas' hair, but I think it had to do with Dean as well. He wanted to show me a picture that Anna had made and the pictures before his incident."

 

“Third one Cas, keep going.” Encourage Charlie.

 

“Black, for Deans depression and our mistakes. But we found each other and grew stronger than made new memories. That’s why the next envelope was yellow Charlie; it signified a new start the sun breaking through the oppressive darkness. The new house a new start, its perfect.”

 

“Yep, you cracked it, keep going, dude.” Giggled Charlie at the determined look on her friend's face.

 

“Five was brown, for muddy waters, Bobby and Ellen’s, it was not the best time when we first went but, we made amends and now get on well with each other. Six was white for Christmas denoting the purity of the season and the childhood reference to me hiding in one when I was a little boy. Seven was gold…”

 

“Think Cas, why would Dean send you to Bobby's garage with a golden envelope?”

 

Castiel jumped up knocking his chair flying making Charlie screak.

 

“Sorry sweetie, I have it Charlie no, he can’t be.”

 

“What! Cas, tell me.” Charlie had her orders she could not let Cas leave unless he got the significance of the notes and the colours attached to them.

 

Castiel hands trembled, as he took out the golden envelope. “Gold is for my Lincoln; it broke down that day, Dean told me later that, if it had not done so we would never have met. It was fate. I never believed in it before I met Dean, Charlie but I do now. Deans sent me to all the locations that mean something to us, in our life together, but I can’t work out why.”

 

“You passed his test, but before we race off, I have one more envelope from Dean.”

 

“Pink was for you Charlie, love brought me here, to Dean. Green the new envelope was green like Deans eyes. I believe my boyfriend is a sap.” Castiel chuckled.

 

They locked up, and Charlie shouted her hellos to everyone. “Cas did not want to read it without his intrepid explorers, go on dude don’t keep us waiting.”

 

Castiel opened the envelope slowly. “My stomach feels like it’s got an army of butterfly's stomping around in there.” Castiel chuckled looking at the letter, by the light of the little car lamp.

 

 

**_You’re at the end of your journey with Fates wings in flight. Did you want it to end here? Or come to the future with me tonight? If you're going to follow me, then take that leap of faith. Find me, sat in the red booth of our very first meeting place._ **

 

 

“The Roadhouse, Deans, waiting for me please Missouri,” Castiel begged of his friend.

 

“Breathe* honey,” Jess demanded we don’t want you to end up in hospital.

 

“I’ll be fine; I want my Dean, that’s all.”

 

Becky, Missouri, and Jess sang along to Christmas Tunes. Charlie was typing furiously on her phone and Cas held on for dear life. He was wondering what his wonderful boyfriend had in store for him tonight.

 

Cas jumped out of the car before it had even stopped. The yell from the girls in the car did not halt his momentum. He rushed headlong into the Roadhouse. Everything was quiet not a soul in sight. Twinkling white lights, tastefully strung on the ceiling, and green garlands hung on the booths. Jo walked up to Castiel and kissed his cheek and winked at him.

 

“May I take your coat sir; your guest is waiting at your table.”

 

“Y-es thank you, Jo.”

 

Jo took Castiel's coat and placed it in the nearest booth and showed him to where Dean was seated. Castiel’s breath caught at the sight of his boyfriend. Dean wore an emerald green two-tone velvet jacket. With a ruby red handkerchief and a green fern tie.

 

“You look amazing my love and look at me, in my everyday clothes.”

 

“You look fine Cas, always do to me. I took the liberty of ordering our first meal together. I hope you don’t mind.”

 

“Yes, I would love that, though it’s a bit much to get dressed for burgers love.” Castiel chuckled.

 

Deans smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkled, and he held his hand out for his lover.

 

Castiel realised his faux pas that his words could have hurt Dean. But his lover never reprimanded him. If Dean did not understand he would ask Castiel to repeat it. Dean never got angry with him. That’s why Castiel loved him because he loved his idiosyncrasies as he loved Dean’s.

 

Jo brought them their burgers and pie, of course, Dean would have nothing less. Then Jo switched on the music, and the disco ball and Dean invited him to dance.

 

“Will you dance with me, sweetheart?”

 

“I will dance with you forever, Dean Winchester.”

 

Dean smiled but felt slightly dazed; his nervousness started to show.

 

“Baby, are you feeling okay? I get the message I’m forever yours.” Castiel bent down to chastely kiss Dean, brushing his fingertips, tenderly over his flushed cheeks.

 

“Cas, stop, will you get down here.” Dean tugged on the older man’s sleeves, and Castiel did as asked.

 

“Castiel, you wandered into my life like a soft summer breeze but blew my world apart like a raging tornado. You notice the simple things in life that most people would miss. You make me a better person. Standing next to you I feel fifty feet tall. That I have legs to walk on and stretch that I can fight anything this world throws at me. Castiel Jacob Collins would you do the honor of being my husband?”

 

Castiel choked back tears, “Dean, yes, a million times yes. I love you so much baby boy.”

 

Castiel and Dean clung on to each other, and Dean pulled back. Getting the rings from his jacket pocket. “Would you do the honors sweetheart?” Dean whispered, trying to dry up Castiel's tears with his thumbs.

 

“Yes, Dean.” The red velvet box creaked open, and Castiel gasped when he saw the rings, nestled in black satin. The rose gold wedding ring had a natural gold inlay that looked like the spreading branches of a tree. Inside it simply said soul mate. Deans matched Castiel’s, but he had a white gold inlay.

 

“Wanted something different Castiel like we are. The same in a way.”

 

Castiel nodded picking up Deans hand and kissing his ring finger and placing the ring on it. Dean did the same for Castiel.

 

“Can we come in yet?” Cried Charlie who was bouncing up and down behind the bar.

 

Castiel chuckled and nodded. “Yes, Charlie come on.”

 

The redhead yelled and rushed around enveloping Dean and Castiel into her arms.

 

“I’m so happy for you, God you're going to make gorgeous looking babies.”

 

Dean looked at Cas and blushed, but intern he winked, and the younger man smiled knowingly.

 

“I don’t know about you.” Shouted Jo, “But this needs music people and Champaign.”

 

Castiel and Deans friends and family joined in with the party. But the lovers only had eyes for each other and sat and held hands, staring into each other eyes. Because they knew it was fate that had brought them to this place and fate that would keep them secure through life’s ups and downs. Nothing could tare there love apart, they had each other after all, love, friendship and there forever bond.

 

 

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I will leave it here. I think they have more story to tell but for now, let them dance and hold each other's hands.
> 
> I will get a Beta soon I hope. Thank you for your kind comments and words of support. xxx

**Author's Note:**

> I have a learning disability I will put that out there. No, Beta, my busy bees are working on other fics at the moment. 
> 
> Always with kindness x


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